Your Daily Horriblescopes. Merry Christmas! RecoveringinDE: Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Beware of Chihuahuas today. Actually, any day is a good day to beware of Chihuahuas. They're not intrinsically evil like minivans, but they're definitely a step in the wrong direction.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Time for a career change. Have you considered the exciting and lucrative career of "despot"? One of the nice perks about that is that you can wear a rediculous hat without people laughing at you.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You will become embroiled in yet another argument about crustaceans today. You will easily trounce your opponent, who will leave in a huff. He's just being crabby, if you ask me.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Good day to sip tea. Remember to extend your pinkie!
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will discover Pablo Picasso's secret. He didn't deliberately invent cubist art. He just liked painting accident victims.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today you will realize that you've always wanted to have the biggest ball of string in town, and will start collecting odd bits of string at every opportunity. Eventually, you will make it into the Guiness Book of World Records, right next to the Giant Happy Tape Ball record set by Mr. S. Boondoggle.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You are being followed by a quiet, rugged man wearing cowboy boots, jeans, a large silver belt-buckle, a faded plaid flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a Carmen Miranda hat. Perhaps you should hurry.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will invent a new type of bath toy today. It will bring you fame and fortune, although it will also be the cause of an embarrassing appearance on the Letterman show.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
A man wearing two left shoes and a shirt with only one sleeve will approach you today, and try to interest you in a no-load mutual fund. Trust him -- he knows what he's doing.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will attain your dream of having your own cooking show, but it will become tiresome when you have to battle your way past people dressed as chickens to get into the studio each day.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Try not to attract attention today. This might be a good time to learn the art of disguise. Forget about camoflage suits, though - I tried wearing mine to the mall, and people could still see me, even when I crouched and remained very still.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will discover that you've always had the power to go home, simply by tapping the heels of your bunny slippers together. Unfortunately, as you will also soon discover, it's not your home.
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. Merry Christmas! amola: [quote author=RecoveringinDE link=board=21;threadid=6370;start=0#msg50996 date=1103988796">
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will attain your dream of having your own cooking show, but it will become tiresome when you have to battle your way past people dressed as chickens to get into the studio each day. [/quote">
omg...........me, a cooking show? roflmao!!!!!
gourmet pb&j's, anyone?
ok, this one is going to have me giggling all day!
merry christmas, ride!!!
amola
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. Merry Christmas! jen: [quote"> Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Time for a career change. Have you considered the exciting and lucrative career of "despot"? One of the nice perks about that is that you can wear a rediculous hat without people laughing at you.[/quote">
I have always wanted to be a despot! Sounds like I get to get into mischief and mayhem...maybe I'll direct the chicken's at amola's cooking show ;D
thanks for these today, RiDE!
Merry Christmas,
mtmo
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. Merry Christmas! RecoveringinDE: Glad you enjoyed them! Merry Christmas!
RiDE
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. Merry Christmas! computerperson: No one ever listens to be about crustaceans and it's because they know I'm always right. How do these things always get to be so right?
(Thanks RiDE, these are always funny.)
