I nwas such a sucker.. Billsfan709: I was such a sucker. I knew my STBx for 6 years before we dated. We were friends in college. I knew she was promiscuous. I knew she was bi-sexual. I knew she was manic depressive. Through all those years we kept in touch. In 1999 I asked her out, and we were together for the next 3 1/2 years. She soon told me she had been sexually abused as a child, had abusive relationships in the past with men, and had been raped in college, and was manic depressive. I thought being in a relationship with a good guy would "fix" her. I treated her like a queen, and she told me she loved me more deeply than anyone she had ever met. She was the love of my life. We had SO much in common, except fot the above. BTW, we married in 2001.
Let me also note that she is beautiful, funny, smart, and awesome in the sack... ;D All the baggage didn't matter to me..I figured some people "grow" out of some things, after all, I sat at my fraternity house in college frequently with my "beer goggles" strapped on firmly.
The engagement and marriage were like a dream..We had a movie theme wedding, b/c we are both HUGE movie buffs. My hippie mom and dad loved her because she was like my mom. They never figured an "Alex P. Keaton" kind of guy like me would find a girl like her..Her and my Mom were best friends.
In summer 2002, she had a miscarriage, and it was all down hill from there..Remember she was manic depressive? She NEVER got meds..she seemed ok most of the time..this pushed her over the edge..She self-medicated..$40 a week in weed..So did I, although it was Burgundy.
This is tough to admit, but I let slide a few "instances" with other women, ranging from making out, to full blown sex. Hey, I'm 30, and isn't this every dudes dream? I thought it wasn't really cheating, and I knew each woman. I was never involved w/ each time.
After about a year of this, she still seemed OK..I loved her, she loved me. So, spring 2003 we have this big blowout, our maybe second fight of our whole relationship, she says she regrets being married to me, is glad we never had a kid, etc. I was like, baby, maybe you should get some therapy..I'll be there for you, I'll be your rock.
Our marriage was wierd, I guess..I was the primary breadwinner..she had numerous bouts of unemployment, I cooked every night, she couldn't clean house very well, I shared half the chores..but like I said I was a guy, and she was awesome in bed..I kept her shopping habit well fed, was learning to be a considerate lover (quite good I think), and was in LALA Land.
She comes back from her first therapy session. I think, "she talked about the molesting step dad, the college rape, the abusive boyfriends, the lesbianism, and I have a great husband who is there for me...She tells me.."You are the cause of all my problems..You are abusive, controlling, and we have no sexual chemistry..I don't think about you sexually, I'm not attracted to you" I'm sorry guys, but everyone who knows me knows I'm not the first two, and I was the envy of all my married buddies for how much I was getting "IT" Just the week before we had started trying to have another baby...But she said she wanted to work things out.
INSTANT PARANOIA..I told you my parents were hippies.. :D
So, anyways, she had an ex-boyfriend who had started coming around..with his girlfriend..no threat..I SERIOUSLY thought he was gay..(NOT digruntled STBx husband talking.) Other friends thought this. You always think, with your pride, no way..no threat.
Re: I nwas such a sucker.. Billsfan709: The papers are in, it's final..I am a sucker no more..
Chris
