Re:do they really regret it later on? OldSchool: I don't think you personally want to see someone that you gave your life to suffer and agonnize after the fact. There was regret the moment her affair was disclosed. I'm sure this will be something she carries with her the rest of her life, just as everything I do will carry with me. I don't want to see her suffer, but yes it would've been a quick satisfaction to see her crumble while I was still healing. Now it doesn't matter.
I just hope she doesn't ruin anymore marraiges or do anything more to destroy herself or her family.
Sorry, but to answer your question yes I've seen it not only in my situation, but in some of my ex-friends. Guys who cheat, get divorced, then are left with nothing... no friends... bitter family.. no custody... and broke. Those are signs enough for me.
OS
Re:do they really regret it later on? TMPC: From personal experience, they do end up regretting it. For me this happened after I was almost completly over him and my life was getting back on track. To tell you the truth, by the time he came back to me because he regreted it, I didn' t care. I almost laughed! I remebered being in so much pain.............. then for the shoe to be on the other foot.......................... it was almost like some type of "sweet revenge" that I had never planned on.
Re:do they really regret it later on? jjbswest: tpmc,
that's exactly what i want and yes I do want him to regret it. i want him to want me back at a time when i don't want him so he will know how it hurts.
Re:do they really regret it later on? jason: Hi Jibswest;
I am an old OJAR poster whom some folks remember, and I thought your post deserved a reply from one who has been where you are right now.
I think in fairness, all those who leave and cheat probably experience some guilt and some remorse. How much likely depends more on the individual than on any external factors.
Upon exiting our home, my ex wife told me point blank that she would not miss anything about life with me. As she said it with a straight face, and not emotionally, I have to believe that she meant it, at least at the time. I have no idea how someone can erase all the good memories we had together away at the drop of a hat, but apparantly, she was able to.
Truthfully, a year later, I have no idea whether she ever thinks about the 11 years that we were together; I expect so, but I don't know. What is important is that I don't care, either. I don't know whether she has "moved on" or not....and I don't think it is really that important, either. I HAVE moved on, and I took the time to heal myself, AND I am glad I did so. As hard as it may be to believe, you will be just fine, no matter what happens to your stbx.
Jason
Re:do they really regret it later on? bamboo: I am an "OJar alumni", but I thought I would tell you that in my situation he definitely regrets everything he did. My ex cheated on me (among other things) and when I found out about it and he told me he wanted a divorce, I knew he would regret it all. His mind was so screwed up I knew he wasn't thinking straight and was making clouded life-changing decisions.
I know he regrets b/c he calls me constantly to tell me. I have been divorced since June 2004 and he still calls me to see if there is some chance I will "Forgive and forget". Part of me is happy to see that he regrets his bad decisions, but that doesn't change the fact of what he did and regardless of how sorry he thinks he is, there is zero chance in my mind of any sort of "starting over" with him.
Anyway, it is possible for the cheaters to regret what they did, but they might regret it way too late ... unfortunately.
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