Re:somebody analyze this conversation richmds: I think deep down somewhere there is regret. But mostly he is confused as to what he wants and feels. Something that he needs to sort through. But if you push him it wont make him decide one way faster.
Best thing to do is get on with what you have to do without him. That is the best you can do for yourself and it will allow him to see what he has done. Hanging around hoping he comes back will just prolong his current behavior.
Re:somebody analyze this conversation jjbswest: that's true because when i start asking why he did it or that i don't believe you can just fall out of love like that, he decides he is ready to talk to the kids or get off the phone. so, maybe the best approach is not to pressure him and let him see it on his own. That is so hard because i feel that he owes me answers.
Re:somebody analyze this conversation OldSchool: jjbswest,
He does owe you answers! He does need to come clean, but and here's the 'but'. You have no idea what's going on in his head at the moment, and it's probably eating at you cause you thought you know him so well. His actions has led him down a very dark path, and he knows that. Whether he likes his new life or not, he's trying to keep from going further down this path.
The best thing to do is what richmds suggested, start living your life like he doesn't exist anymore. You have to consider this as an option and condition yourself like you have to go on without his support, love, and friendship.
It does sound like he has regret. He has had some time to plan out this second life he's carved out for himself, so he might be well on his way. You just have to take care of yourself and children. I'm sorry to say that, but I was in the same boat a couple of years ago.
I thought that I was the only one that could save her, because she seemed so helpless, lost, confused and alone. She manipulated me, her family, and well she had no friends to manipulate so that was about it. She had already planned on me bolting, but I was still looking for answers and wanted her to confide in me. I was way long gone from her life.
Sorry for rambling on, and I hope you can start seeing some positives within yourself at this time. You're not alone.
OS
Re:somebody analyze this conversation lvaughn24: I have had the same conversation with my husband who left 2 months ago and already has a new girlfriend that hes basically living with. I say you love her and he says I wouldnt say all that. He still sleeps with me from time to time and is very jealous of any man that comes near me. He says he loves me and always will butt its not the way a man is supposed to love his wife. I ask if he has any doubts about the divorce he says yeah about once a week. He says he wont work on the marriage cause ill never change. we fought a lot and i didnt trust him. I agree with the people who say move on like he doesnt exist anymore. You have to cant wait around forever for him to come back. If its meant to be hell find his way back to you but if not there is someone else out there for all of us.That is just how I feel. Ive been waiting around for mine to come back for almost 2 months, and he hasnt and is happily dating someone else ive realized hes not coming back .
Re:somebody analyze this conversation legionuvdoom: I'm kinda cynical, but i think that in a way sometimes it's better to think of the other person as dead, so you can go on with your life. Of course that's easier said than done, because they're not really dead, they chose someone else over you. Also, I saw my ex on the street with her "man" on Xmas, which i didn't really need to see. Then i saw her on Tuesday, on the subway, she was alone, and i started tearing, because i wanted to hug her, but i decided to stay away. I don't know if she saw me either time, and what would go through her mind. I'm sure i would have a better chance of talking to her when she was alone, rather than with him, but she knows where i live, and i still have the same phone number, and she hasn't tried to contact me. So I just try to go on with my life. I always wanted children, but we never had any, so there's not much keeping us connected.
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