Your Daily Horriblescopes. Happy New Year! RecoveringinDE: Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will soon learn to fear and loath the word "diaper." Don't know why.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will soon accidentally discover why it is that so many things "taste like chicken." It's because they ARE chickens, in clever disguises.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Benjamin Franklin said: "If you would like to know the value of money, go and try to borrow some." You're not sure this is an accurate indicator of the value of things, however. At least not after having tried to borrow a toothbrush...
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will become a bit nervous when you spot the Feldsteins, next door, doing a Bantu war dance. Perhaps you should call in sick today, and just stay indoors watching Wheel Of Fortune?
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you should sit down (someplace comfy), and ask yourself if you even care. You shouldn't. It's not your fault, you've been trying as hard as you can, so you shouldn't care. Not if they're going to act like that.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Money will come from an unexpected source. If you put it in a mesh bag and run it throught the washer, you'll get most of the smell out.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Try being entirely honest for a week. That's a fine way to develop a clear conscience. Personally, I prefer my method, though -- a poor memory.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
So. You let your "mole plants" die. Now the moles are back, and this time they mean business. No more Mr. Nice Mole. Try burying a line of eucalyptus cough drops along your property line. If that doesn't work, there's a chance you can buy a nuclear warhead from Ukraine.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Excellent day, today. Unless today is your 15th birthday, of course, in which case you're destined to have a particularly embarassing episode involving a cat and an argyle sock.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will wrestle with your conscience today, but will be disqualified for using an illegal hold.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Remember - every cloud has a silver lining, and every problem is an opportunity in disguise. So next time you see a problem, just imagine it without the fake nose and glasses.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Unleash the power you have chained inside you! Just don't let it make those annoying "yip yip yip" sounds or pee on the lawn, this time.
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. Happy New Year! OldSchool: [quote"> You will soon learn to fear and loath the word "diaper." Don't know why.[/quote">
Happy New Year's, RiDE. This had to be the first horriblescope of the year! I'm not a daddy yet... and don't plan on it for quite a while. :P
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. Happy New Year! jen: Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will soon accidentally discover why it is that so many things "taste like chicken." It's because they ARE chickens, in clever disguises.
All the critters are running around dressed up like chickens in the Foster Farms commercials...I knew it... :P
Now I know my task in 2005 is to get good at seeing through all sorts of clever disguises... ;D
And, RiDE, thanks for the first horriblescope of the new year! Happy New Year!
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. Happy New Year! favoriteangel2003: Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will soon learn to fear and loath the word "diaper." Don't know why.
Not even going to comment on that one! I am too AFRAID!!! :-X
Angel :)
Re:Your Daily Horriblescopes. Happy New Year! RecoveringinDE: rofl! Glad to have them back up and running for you all =)
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