Dec was awful now maybe the future can be better 2brix: Well I guess I have to accept the evidence that things have to get better with time. This past December has been one of the most awful months that I have ever had to endure and I am still breathing. A feat that amazes me and gives me hope that I can survive most anything that life can toss at me. I have discovered even as awful as a month can be that if you keep your chin out to be hit and roll with the punches life will continue . I made it through my 40th birthday without my wife and guess what everything still works after you turn over the hill (I meant your heart still works and your brain doesn't turn to mush). I took shauna's advice on that one 'treat it like its just another day" and it worked all the way up until my kids made me a cake and sang happy birthday. Got all soggy after that. I felt like crap that I couldn't put on a big birthday party for my now ten year old because I am so close to broke. Made it through my mom turning 60 and going out to the big family get together meal that was planned all the way back in July. Felt like the seat next to me was empty even though it had my brothers roommate sitting in it. Made it though being told my brother is going onto dialisis soon and is probably going to be needing a transplant befor we hit next new year. Made it though the 4 month mark of not seeing my wife. Made it through xmas and NYE. Man if life could through out any more at me I don't know if I could have taken it. This month has sucked but I am still alive and moving. To all the brand new ojarians keep up the hope and understand that unless you stop it life does continue. To all the older ojarians thank you for all your support when I felt like I was going over the edge. Well heres to a new year and my sincere hopes that the next year will get better cause December 2004 sucked.
