Re:Thank you fellow Ojarians WhyNow: UKchap,
Thanks for the New Year's Eve music, chat. That was definately very unique.
Unfortunately, I could feel the sadness in your voice but unlike you I could not hang around and be mellow. I had to go out. I went out got reeeeeaaaaally drunk, & ended up making some phone calls after midnight. Found out my wife lyed right to my face a few days ago when she said she had no plans for New Year's, she went to Vegas. I got really upset and ended up on the street curb crying. Two cop cars pulled up and I convinced them that it was something in my life that I was going through not so much the alcohol that had me feeling the way I did. I called my daughter and she came to pick me up. I knew my step daughter was probably in Vegas also (being watched by my stbx's x-husband and new wife) so I called there (5:30 am) and my step d (16 yrs old) answered the phone. When I said Hi she knew it was me and hung up. I called back but nobody answered so I left some accusational messages about my wife getting back with her x (even though he is happily married). I also sent some nasty emails to my stbx's work email. I tried to retract them when I woke up in the early afternoon but couldn't (ooops). Got back in touch with my step d and she told me she hung up on me because it was 5:30 am and she knew I would just start asking questions about her mom. I told her she should have at least acknowledged me instead of just hanging up (but I guess she is her mother's daughter). SHe said her Mom was down there with her friend (girl I know) but who the heck knows what is going on when the stbx just seems to lie to my face for no reason and I just go on believing her. I mean there is no "adultery" divorce in CA, it is a 50/50 state. She could be screwing the Mayor and it wouldn't matter. Why does she continue to lie to me? She has already served me with papers. I am not going to follow her there. I don't have her cell phone # any more (she said she turned her phone in and doesn't have a new one.... because she can't afford it, huh? But she can go to Vegas??).
Well I guess she's probably got more fuel for her fire now and she will use this as an excuse to be more pissed off at me and tell me that I haven't changed at all.
Well when did she start lying to me? I guess if she can lie right to me with a straight face and not feel guilty about it then she must have been practicing for quite a while. I guess then she really hasn't changed either, I just know about it now.
Maybe it's for the best, I finally got some crap off of my chest. Instead of doing what I sometimes do (type up a nasty, angry email and then never send it) I actually sent it through. It may have taken some beer muscles (okay, beer, bacardi 151, tanqueray, & champagne muscles) but maybe it is for the best.
One good thing though, my oldest brother called today and I finally told someone on my side of the family what is going on. He was so supportive of me. BTW, for those of you that don't know, I am 3,000 miles from my side of the family and have been for 9 years (1 year in Korea though by myself) for military duty. Funny thing is though, I chose to come out to CA to get away because my stbx was jealous of my x-wife. I could've been stationed back on the East Coast if I wanted to. Did she appreciate that, guess not ! Her jealous of me at one point, imagine that, hah !!??!!
Re:Thank you fellow Ojarians jen: UKChap,
I'm bummed that I didn't see the link earlier today and missed the webcast! I'm sure it was awesome...
I hope 2005 is much brighter for you than 2004!
take care,
mtmo
Re:Thank you fellow Ojarians WhyNow: Question for those of you that have listened to UKchap on the air...
Do you find yourself, like me, reading his posts in your head with his voice and "accent"? :D
I know, I know UKchap: "we" in America are the one's with the accent.... it's the "King's English"!! :-X
Paul
Re:Thank you fellow Ojarians ukchap: Re the webcasts
I'm glad that some of you enjoyed the music ...
I came home after doing the concert last night and felt really lonely .. only the cat to keep me company.
Thankfully Shanna was about on Aim messenger and as we chatted the pain was not quite so intense ...
coming home to an empty house has to be one of the most soul destroying aspects of all this malarky.
I last spoke to my wife on new years eve .. It feels like a lifetime ago so sad and so crazy that after all she has done to me that I still miss her and crave to hear her voice.
My lawyer returns from holiday tomorrow 4th Jan and things will move from then .. I will have to sign the papers soon and it will begin .. The dance of death ..
the ending of all my hopes, dreams and my world as I knew it .. in other words Divorce
before I forget some of the local musicians here are giving a concert in aid of the Asian tidal wave victims
It will be in a couple of weeks time ... It will go out over the web also ... I'll post the link to the web page when I have it ..
I suppose now I have to learn to be brave and do the John Wayne thing and " take it like a man "
funny I can cope with any sort of crisis but Divorce and Separation is really something else ...
Perhaps the CIA should develop it as a weapon of mass destruction !
