summary of stages of grief jjbswest: Symptoms of grief are:feeling physically drained, feeling out of control, can't eat, susceptible to illness,feel like a zombie, can't think clearly, cry or can't cry,stay extremely busy, drink too much, too many drugs,can't sleep at night, tiredness,sigh a lot, lose interest in appearance (self, house, etc), fantasize about the past, lonliness, guilt over what you should or could have done, self criticism, lack of interest in sex,huge hole in heart and soul, think you will never recover, severe depression and/or see no reason to exist.
You can have any or all of these symptoms. You must allow yourself to feel these feelings so you can deal with your loss. You should give yourself time to grieve because it's part of the process. But, if you are extremely depressed for a long period of time or you think about ending your life, you need to seek professional help until you are able to better deal with your grief.
tasks to accomplish to move through your grief:
1)Accept your loss. Talk about it until you accept it. the more you talk about it, the more you will come to realize it's real.
2) allow yourself to experience the pain of it.You can't avoid it. It's gonna hurt.But, it must be felt to work through it and heal. If you push it away, it will just resurface through the years and can affect your entire future.
3)Adjust to the environment in which the loved one is gone.You have to go to the places you went to together.Spend time in your home without them.You have to learn to function without them. You can't withdraw from the world. You have to keep going.
4)After you have grieved all you need to grieve, then turn that energy into your future and new relationships.If you spend too much time dwelling and can't move past it, then find the support of a family member or support group (like ojar ;D) and try to talk to them and move on with your life.
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Re:summary of stages of grief jjbswest: the stages of grief:
There are 5 stages and each one will have to be experienced before you can heal. they are not usually experienced in order.And you may think you have already worked through a stage and find yourself back in it. It is not a sign of weakness to grieve.Sometimes you will feel lilke you are standing still or going backwards. You must give yourself the permission to grieve as long as you need to. Some grieve longer than others. But (I liked this and have to include it) "When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, you will do whatever is necessary in order to heal."
Stage 1) Denial: IT's not happening. They will come back.They are just going through a phase, a midlife crisis, and will eventually snap out of it.You can't accept it's over and refuse to see the signs that it is over for them.
Stage 2) Anger: You are angry at how you were treated, about settlement offers, about how they lied and deceived you,at the future that you think you won't have. If you turn your anger inward, you will get depressed. You need to deal with your anger. Expressing anger is a sign that you are beginning to deal with your loss. If youdon't deal with your anger, you will become bitter. Don't bury it. Deal with it and try to forgive that person.
Stage 3) Bargaining: You promise the person you will change. You will do anything they want if they don't leave. You make plans for what you both can do to make it work.Sometimes you even compromise your own values and beliefs to keep them from leaving. Sometimes couples will try to get back together but very few will actually make it work because the real issues aren't dealt with, unresolved problems aren't solved,and one is very unhappy.Reaching this stage is good because you have begun to face the fact that the relationship is ending.You are past the denial stage.And this stage will help you look at what might have caused the problems in the first place which can help in future relationships.
Stage 4)Letting go: You realize they are gone and that you need to let go.It's not easy and has to be done in your own time.Sometimes you feel like your life is over, you wonder what you are worth, what you will do the rest of your life.You feel alone and feel like you will be alone the rest of your life.This is the dangerouse stage in which people feel like giving up.It is important to know that you will get past this stage too.It is a necessary stage.
Stage 5) Acceptance: the final stage. You reach this stage after you have already worked through all the other stages. you will realize it's final and will be ready to get on with your life.You will realize that it happened for the best, and your life does have meaning.you will begin to feel free from the pain and hurt. You realize they aren't coming back.You stop bargaining and begging and realize it's actually over. Usually if you get through your grief stages and work on yourself, you find that you will end up with a better life than the one you had when you were married to the person you lost. Divorce never happens in a good marriage. Even if you thought it was good, the other person who left isn't the person you needed to be with or they would not have left and caused you so much pain.
**you may also go through shock and numbness. you may know it happened but it just hasn't registered yet. you go through life like a robot with no emotion.
or you may go through a guilt stage, but everyone makes mistakes. nobobdy is perfect. It takes two to make a marriage and two to break it.
Forgiveness is a necessary part of healing.Sometimes it isn't easy and may take a while. you have to forgive yourself and spouse.Do it for yourself, not them.
Each person grieves in their own time.Dont' let people tell you to stop grieving and get on with your life. Give yourself time.
