Re:Completely lost... jen: Caliguy,
Just wanted to welcome you to Ojar and tell you that you have definitely found a wonderful site! I'm sorry that you are going through this too, but reading and posting helps a lot.
Right now you are probably in shock, not sure what the he!! happened...and crying, losing your appetite and generally feeling pretty lost is normal. Like Kin said, it is part of the grieving process. Allow yourself the time to grieve and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
Take care of yourself,
mtmo
Re:Completely lost... kimura321: I'm into my seperation for two months and it does get better, I'm military too and am in a very isolated billet.
I still have a hole in me where the marriage used to be but I'm getting a lot better and made new friends and am living a better life than I did when I was married.
My advice is keep that day planner full-even if you don't feel like doing crap, just get the habit of staying busy and try out new things, even if they sound silly(basket-weaving classes-joke). Also give yourself time alone to mope and totally go with it, let it all out and get that emotion off your chest.
i'm still on that roller coaster but now the valleys aren't as deep and the highs get better and more realistic.
Also, venting on this board(the unsent letters topic is a good one) let out everything you can.
I'm not out of the woods yet, but it does get way better after a while-not perfect yet, but a heck of a lot wiser.
Re:Completely lost... Bocephus: I am so sorry. It is a horrible feeling. Do you have anybody to hang out with, and keep you company? That really helps with the initial period. I'm so sorry.
Re:Completely lost... tyrogers: Caliguy:
Welcome to OJAR.....the most supportive place you could have come to. Everyone here is wonderful (even if they don't say what you want to hear ;))
I am terribly sorry that you are going through this, but believe it or not, venting makes it feel a bit better. You are receiving advice, hugs and many thoughts and prayers from unbiased persons. I now have SO many new friends that I met on this site and I love them to death! ;D I don't know what I would have done without their input and shoulder to cry/vent/scream/lean on.
We are here for you and your are in our prayers.
MUCH LOVE
Tyleena ("Ty")
Way Down South in 'Bama
Re:Completely lost... Caliguy: WOW guys, talk about support! Its amazing how a complete stranger can post something and everyone is just so supportive with nothing but GOOD advise. Yeah, Im in the Air Force so I went to Life Skills and talked to someone. They pretty much explained that what I was going through was completely NORMAL and all that. Hell, just hearing that made me feel that much better because I was starting to think that maybe I was just going overboard or something. Anyways, today was the first day back at work and it went well. At times it was a little slow, but I made sure I kept myself busy. When I got back home it was still sorta akward, but not to the point where I try to avoid certain parts of the house or anything so Im finally starting to feel like I am on the road to recovery. I just want to say thanks to everyone who took the time to read and comment. Just knowing that there are plenty of other people just like me (Although sad) makes it all seem like it will be ok...if that makes sense. Thanks again and see you on the board
:-)
- Sonny
