i wonder what he is really thinking jjbswest: Everyone outside of you guys doesn't want me even thinking about taking my stbx back. Right at this moment, I don't want him back. But, if the day ever came that I knew he really was sorry for it and wouldn't do it again, I probably would. I do love him. Anyway, you guys tell me not to pressure him, tell him I love him, demand answers. Just go about life without talking about what happened. So, tonight he called and talked to the kids and spent more time talking to me than the kids because I didn't bring anything up. He rambled on and on about different things. So, I wonder what is really going on in that mind of his? Why does he want to talk to me so much if he doesn't want to be with me?
Re:i wonder what he is really thinking krunk79: He is very likely confused and isn't really sure what he wants. People often make strong statements to help convince themselves that what they are saying is true.
For example, to help deal with my own hurt and pain over my separation, I often said "I don't care what she does." or I "I don't want her back anymore." Neither of those things are true, but stating them allowed me to deal with my grief and help me deal with things. After going through those stages, I can honestly say that while I am hurt by what she has done and is doing (and thus care), I will be able to move on with my life. The statements I made aren't true, but I needed them to be true to deal with what I was going through. If he feels guilt and regret, that is what he is telling himself to convinice himself that what he did was right so that he can deal with it.
It sounds like you are handling things well--Keep it up! Stay resolved--the longer you maintain the indifferent attitude, the more self-respect you will gain, and the more control you will have over the situation.
Re:i wonder what he is really thinking OldSchool: jjbswest,
I'm in total agreement with Krunk... now that's quite an insight and there's nothing I can say to even come remotely close to his statements. Excellent response!
OS
