Re:Family now knows favoriteangel2003: Well 3 months after my stbx left me... I finally told someone from "my" side of the family.
How did you do that? That had to have been very tough and very lonely for you. I couldn't imagine the strength it took to do that. I am glad you got it out in the open so you can start getting the support you need. :) I bet that made you feel a WHOLE lot better when your older brother called!!! A sense of relief, huh?
I am glad you let go of that because that is TOO MUCH for one person to deal with on there own.
Here is to a Happier New Year! :)
Angel :)
Re:Family now knows WhyNow: Well, I think it took strength for me to finally tell someone in my family rather than to be weak and hide it. I guess I had to do some healing and let the "reality" start overcoming the "denial".
Stbx's lies, coldness, selfishness, and indifference have actually gotten me to the point where I can no longer be a part of her life anyway. I am no longer trying to find out about what she is doing and where she is going, it only hurts me and doesn't let me move forward. I'm sorry to say it and I never thought it before but I do deserve better than her.
I have not been totally alone in this. I have a much more positive attitude about humanity now. I always had the idea that people were out to get me. I know better now with the support I have received from everyone ranging from my 18 year old daughter to my friends, military supervisors/peers/subordinates, counselor/psychiatrist, but especially total strangers that notice that I look like I am down and take the time (some for hours even) to boost my spirits. I can more easily approach and greet people with a smile on my face now.
My family (including my stbx) knows that I am very emotional and would put my life on the line for them to keep them out of harms way, I would rather die instead of them or with them than for them to be gone from my life.
Just seems to me that the stbx is putting me to death when she was not in harm's way at all.
Angel (love that name, sounds, well.... heaven-sent).
Thanks for the support everyone and God Bless you all and GOD PLEASE BLESS our troops in harm's way whose problems are more real than we believe that ours are.
Pablo
Re:Family now knows favoriteangel2003: I'm sorry to say it and I never thought it before but I do deserve better than her.
Why? ??? Never be sorry for wanting or deserving better! Never! I say that because we do deserve better than that and if we don't notice that ...well than who will? You will keep attracting people like you stbx who will continue to drain the life and love right out of you and than what kind of example would you be for you daughter who is just starting to explore what real relationships are about. Give her an healthy example and explain to her what not to do by using your situation as an example. When I say that I mean show her how to have a healthy love...give and take....tell her how suffacating and draining it is to have someone take and take and take. Tell her how that feels BUT remember you are talking about her mother so don't forget to show respect.
You have woken up and CONGRATS to that!!!! Now let the feeling of peace come and take over. We can't control them and who wants to control someone anyways? I don't! We need it to be natural or why have it. You can't control anyone but yourself...so take control of you life and live it to it's fullest!
Keep talking to people and posting here !!! You will gets lots of honest advice and great support by people who are either there or have been there.
Wishing you ALL the best!!! :)
Angel :)
