Re:I might have found one answer... jen: I agree that love is a verb. Some of what I think it includes:
~ when we make a sacrafice, compromise, etc. the action of love is not holding that sacrafice over their head...
~ love is our actions that are gifts from the heart, given without expectation that exact measures will be returned, but given for the sake of giving
~ love is in the things we do and in the everyday moments
~ love is treating someone with the respect they deserve and not making decisions for them, but with them
mtmo
and cali, I think the words of love that he spoke and his actions are at different ends of the spectrum. His idea of love may mean to him that leaving was the loving thing to do and the best for you and for him. I don't know whether he was lying when he told everybody that he loves you or if his idea about love is just really messed up. :-\
Re:I might have found one answer... hardened_heart1970: oldschool thanks.
i was thinking this. it was mentioned about the big picture, the end results right?
my wife knew when i worked it was for extra money for US. when i was selling on the internet. it was for US. i personally think, that they know what the big picture is, but really want what the can get, with no loss of something. 98% OF US, Are not fed with a silver spoon, and while i own a few things, everyone has been bought by labor i provided. no handouts.
so what im saying is sometimes they want their cake with out the calories. cant happen.
Re:I might have found one answer... caligirl: mtmo-
wish i knew. that, and many other of his actions and words were bizarre.
based on my conv. w/the in laws, and the family history of manic depression....and his behavior over the past 20 years, my counselor thinks that he may very well be bipolar.
Re:I might have found one answer... OldSchool: HH, You've touched on something as far as they want their cake. It's all about what becomes important to both you guys as individuals and in respect to your growth in your marraige. It has to be the same. If not, then one person is going to grow in a different way. I didn't realize that until it was too late.
I tried to always include my growth within the confines of the marraige, but looking back my ex didn't have that kind of forsight. I gave her way too much credit, so now her lack of forsight will probably land her wondering where I went. I was the best thing that's happened to her, and I know it without knowing it... do you know what I mean? Not trying to be funny even though I sounded like a moron there.
I just know that she gave up alot to seek some sort of personal satisfaction. She knew she deserved a person that had less self-esteem as myself. That's why she chose to parade off in her own way.
I went on ramblin' again but hope that gives you some idea what I've found since my divorce many moons ago....
OS
