Re: Mixed emotions dave13: Some great advice so far, so I will only chime in for the suicide issue. It seems that many of us have dealt with these thoughts. There are many posts that are offline at the moment so you can't read my firsts posts. There are of course some good links on the OJar homepage. Been there, done that. I was never suicidal before either but let me tell you I went full blown... a couple times. It is mostly by chance that I am still here. I have quite a lot to say about the subject and about how people view of it.
You are going through a lot and it is understandable to think about it. Many of us have. So don't let that fact alone freak you out in any way. It is okay. Most of the time what kept me back was that last responsibility or whatever that I had to take care of. That thing you have to do tomorrow. Especially when you have kids. It holds you back. But when you are getting ready or are so overwhelmed with every emotion and completely breaking down, you talk to someone. You have that number to a crisis line ready (some great people, trust me) or you open up to someone close who can hold confidance. It brings you down and the act of talking can change your perspective. And you will call, if nothing else, for your kids sake.
I would sit in a bookstore or my cousins house for hours at a time. Keep reaching out. You will find that people are there for you.
PS- I am very frank and open so if anyone wants to message me I am here.
Re: Mixed emotions atd74: FunkyDiva,
It does sound like you are at the point of separation and not divorce. You may be able to reconcile in the future and it sounds like you guys could have a chance at renewing the marriage. Don't worry about what your family says or thinks (I know that's hard but you have to overcome that) - you both need to sit down and figure out what is the best thing for you and yours.
You are right - just because you still love each other doesn't mean you can live with each other. So take the opportunity for a legal separation and see what happens. The time apart will most likely help you to make a final decision that is really best for you all.
Re: Mixed emotions FunkyDiva: Thanks so much to everyone that responded to my post. We are talking at the moment but have not made any decisions as to what we will do. Slowly does it. We are thinking that the best idea is to still get on with our now separate lives and see each other when we want to and go from there and perhaps date like singles again. We have no plans to get back together or live with each other yet and think it is probably better that we work out what went wrong before so we don't go there a second time. We are being careful for the sake of the kids so they don't see this as a reconciliation and if it works out that we can do this then all the better. If not, then at least we have tried and can then move on without always wondering "What if??". Again thanks for all your great advice and I appreciate your honest answers. You are all wonderful!!!! :) ;) :-*
