Hi. I'm new and scared. craez: I've been reading all the posts and am sorta scared to blab about my pathetic situation. it's so long and complicated. in a nutshell....i made a HUGE mistake and moved with my live-in boyfriend of two years across country a year ago when he got transferred. i left my career (i was a police officer), my family and all my friends because i was SO in love with him. i put myself in this situation where i am now emotionally bankrupt. anyway. he dumped me right before the holidays because he said he "couldn't be faithful" and he said that he felt if he stayed in a committed relationship with me, he would be leading me on. this is after i gave up EVERYTHING. i had to continue living with him for a month while i looked for a place to live. i haven't been able to make as much money since we moved, and am having a REALLY hard time supporting myself. anyway, that month was sheer hell on earth. he came home every single night at 3 am or later. and he accidentally sent me a text message he meant to send to another girl he was apparently seeing already. she is now his girlfriend. it kills me that he says he still loves me and doesn't want to be in a relationship and yet he's already in another one. why is it so easy for some people to crush others? i could never ever hurt someone the way he hurt me....no matter how bad i wanted out of a relationship....the sad thing is....our relationship STARTED the SAME WAY. he was "broken up" with his girlfriend who was still living with him who had moved 3 states to be with him.....you guys.....there is seriously too too much for me to tell. all i need help with is, How do I stop thinking about him with this other girl (whom i know, by the way)? I can picture it so vividly. him hugging her and kissing her and you-know-whatting in OUR BED, IN OUR HOUSE with OUR stuff....you can't see me, but i'm sobbing. someone please say something nice to me.
Re:Hi. I'm new and scared. Dino: Welcome to ojar.
You can't stop thinking about him. I think about my ex almost non-stop. I accepted very quickly that it was over between us. My ex told me it was over and the next day she had a new guy. I did so much for my ex. I loved her with all of my being. I bought a house with her, nursed her through emotional and pyschological difficulties. When I met her, she was a girl, now she is a woman, she has thrown me away for an ex of her(just found out who he was). I know who he is. He lives about 0.5km away from me. I hurt badly. But I have gotten better.
You will feel better. I spent all of my time with close friends in the first 2 weeks. I stayed at friends houses and tried not to be alone. Just having a friend nearby did me wonders. I'm a guy and my friend is a guy but I cried on his shoulder anyway. Some things are too difficult to work through alone.
Spend time with friends, talk to them, cry on their shoulder. Stay active. Go out and try to do things. All I can tell you is what worked for me. You may be different.
I'm sorry it happened to you.
Re:Hi. I'm new and scared. heartbroken4: craez:
Welcome to Ojar!
Life definately sucks sometimes. The way we are treated when we have done nothing but try. You did not deserve to be treated like that at all. It must be a cycle for him. Even though our thoughts can torment us you must try to distract yourself. You will drive yourself crazy. Continue in your efforts to get the hell out of there. Can you move back home? Just a thought. The more you stay the more you have to see and hear things that will drive you nuts. It hurts I know but once you are out of there and able to start putting this behind you it will be better.
He sounds very selfish and will do it again. He did not treasure you as he should have and for that be thankful you didnt marry him! It would have been harder.
Treasure yourself. Try and do something nice for yourself everyday and hold on dont let go keep your eye on the future not the past. i know its easier said than done believe me I know! Hang in there!
Heartbroken
Re:Hi. I'm new and scared. MadorSad: Hey
Just to lighten your mood get some pic of him and go down to the range about 500 rounds of 9MM into his pics might help ???
Really I'm glad you found this place keep posting and you will feel better. I hate to say this to you now but time will help do some things for yourself it will help.
MoS
Re:Hi. I'm new and scared. Chey: Hi Craez,
Believe me a lot of us will understand what you're going through on a very intimate level. It's never easy to make that big move, and then admit it was the wrong thing to do. But what you need to do is know that you were the brave one in the first place. You took a chance on love, and you lived your life banking on the outcome being a great one. It is'nt, and that's heartbreaking beyond belief, but give yourself some credit for doing what a lot of other people would never do...you were brave enough to try and grab a chance at happiness with both hands.
So...if you're brave enough to do it once...you can certainly do it again right?
I promise you each day you live through this will make you stronger, and you will make it.
Chey
