Need help to Stop thinking LostTeacher: Ok, new to the board, but have been reading it for a while, and enjoying what I am reading. Need some advice of my own.
Have been with him for 11 years, since teens, married 2 1/2. After a very poor week, and a very late evening out ( 4:30am without his cell to reach him, something he never forgets) he tells me it's over. Just like that, no discussion, no arguing, just lays it out on the table, tells me what is happening, and that's it.
I leave, and think it's a dream. That was almost 3 months ago. Have already talked divorce, am moving into an apartment, and fighting with him over everything.
One minute saying he wants me to be happy and move on with my life, the next minute telling me I can't come to move my stuff when I want to. He has already changed the locks on our house (which we both still own), and has totally cut me out of his life.
We have been together since we were quite young (15), and he has always been my best friend. We have done everything together, so almost every memory I have of my past involves him. I have a very hard time not talking to him, as I am used to speaking and e-mailing him all day, every day.
My question is, how do I let it go? I think that I have finally stopped thinking about him every moment, but then I cry myself to sleep. I think that there is no way in earth I could ever be with him again, but then i dream that he comes back and says this was all a mistake. how do i move on from thinking like that?
any advice is welcome, and it seems like everyone on here has something great to say, and is very supportive. looking forward to reading what people have to say.
thanks for listening; LostTeacher
Re:Need help to Stop thinking :broken:: Letting Go Recipe
Ingredients:
uh...hum....
No secret recipe, it's all a matter of time, in the mean time try to focus on something that brings you joy, (salsa did it for me) go out, have a good time, try to rearrange your life, your priorities, your life is changing, maybe your plan for life should too. :)
Re:Need help to Stop thinking jjbswest: just like broken said, it's time that does it. you have to take one day at a time. you don't know what mood you will be in tomorrow but you have to deal with it. resist the urge to call. it will get easier. you will be ok. i was with mine all of my adult life too and everything done was with him. but now we have to make new memories even if we dont' want to. you have to do things for yourself. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HOLD YOU BACK FROM DOING ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO!. That's what I am learning right now. I joined a gym with alot of the family and am having a great time exercising and getting out doing something for myself. You need to find something to do to take your mind off of it. My family had me going to movies (and i hated it, didn't want to go but realized now that it was the best thing for me), going out to eat, now going to the gym, etc. you can do it. time does it. we don't like to hear that but it's true. I also posted and posted on here everytime i was mad, sad, whatever. ojar has helped me alot along with my new friend Daniel. ;) hi dan. anyway, just post. the time will go by before you know. i still have my moments but everyday is easier for me now.
Re:Need help to Stop thinking LostTeacher: i totally agree with the doing things for yourself part. it is one of the things i have been tryinig to do. my biggest thing is trying to find the energy to do it. i have all these great plans, but some evening and weekends i find myself just curled up on the couch wanting to veg and watch tv (doesn't help that it's -30 outside, and you don't want to leave your house!) it's trying to get excited about doing things alone, without him here with me, and that's what's been hard.
