Re:Pain Jennicole: croutonic,
was there anything your wife could have said or done to make you change that while you were still together?
Re:Pain Croutonic: Jenni Cole,
Yes. I think she should have given me an ultimatum. That would have woken me up. If she had told me that she was actually falling out of love with me, and that I needed to do something about it, or have her leave, I would have done everything I could to fix it.
As it was, we just had the same argument over and over again, about how we needed to make some changes, or bad things were going to happen. "Divorce" was never mentioned, nor was separation, trial or otherwise. Those argument would always go nowhere, and I think they just ended up feeling like nagging, because they were always the same.
I think that guys need things to be spelled out very clearly for them sometimes, especially in situations like this. For my part, it just wasn't part of my world view that divorce was even a remote possibility. I just didn't think that it could happen, so therefore all of our problems could be chalked up to something else.
One good thing came from this at least - I've learned my lesson.
Re:Pain Jennicole: thanks for your response, as it sits, i did put out an ultimatum, which was ignored. so i have to follow through with leaving, because it is not the first time i said this has to change or im leaving..
Re:Pain cadillacjack: [quote"> Reading the posts of the women who have been neglected sexually and affection-wise is very painful, because that's what I did to my wife. She told me, but hearing the same thing from others really drives it home[/quote">
well said....I made the same mistakes, but after 20 years (as in my case) complacency sets in and this is the mortal enemy of any relationship, however it is not an excuse to cheat or deceive...My stbxw left in April, came back for 10 weeks in the fall. I find out now she was in contact with her lover the whole time. She walked out on me and her kids the first of November again and for good and you know, I don't feel that bad....I tried real hard to make it work and she coasted, did nothing, took my money and ran back to her 50 something loser BF.
There are days I miss her and wonder how she's doing. I'm certain someday she'll regret what she did and the fact that she'll have to deal with the rainbow of emotions her kids will lay on her when the time comes.
Or maybe she won't....she's not the women I married and I really don't know this one
Re:Pain Croutonic: Jenni, I think that's the right thing. It would have worked with me because I still love her. If he still doesn't respond appropriately when you actually leave, I don't think that it was meant to be.
Click More for the next page.
