Re:Pain shane24: I am exactly in the same place you are. Mine left me on new years and told me that she needed a break. Lied to me about still being in love with me and blamed me for everything. Her excuse was that I put to much emphasis on the relationship. She said I nagged her about making love, cleaning, being considerate, you know, all the normal things that accompany a relationship. Two days after she left I called trying to set up a meeting only to be told about the new lover that she moved in with. I havnt slept in three weeks, lost fifteen pounds too. At least yours told you she doesnt love you and gave you enough respect to break it off for good. Mine left me with "I love you" and "I'm not sure, i need time". I am left in limbo, but know that she is not coming home. I also am completely lost without her, she was my second half. * years down the tube for sex and the excitement of a new relationship. You have to move on. I know what you are going through, but this women is not worth your time. Even if you took her back later, there would always be those skeletons. It could never be the same. I know because this was the second run for me. I caught her in bed with someone two years ago. She begged me to take her back and I did. I wanted her back so much, yet for the last two years I havnt been able to trust her. I started monitering her every word trying to catch her in lies. Look what happened the second time around. It was out of my control. You need to push on my friend. Live just knowing that one day she will regret what she has done to you in some sense. She will have to take that to her grave. You will find happiness in life it just takes time. I hate that quote as well but it rings true. I am so sorry that this happened. I will pray for you. YOU WILL HEAL< BE PATIENT
Re:Pain pleesehelp: Croutonic- This has just happened to me (as of 2 days ago) and we live in a house with our 3 children(1 hers,1 mine, and 1 ours together)She said she doesnt love me any more and that I missed the chance to show her how much I love her after discussing it a half a year ago. She admitted to meeting someone at work and that she loves him. I'll do anything to put it behind and work it out! I want my family again and I'm trying to convince her to forget him and help us start over. There arent any plans of one of us leaving the house because she said for now she wants to keep it as it is for the kids sake of living here. Im trying to save it before it is complete but I dont know if Im being a fool or not! Good luck to you and let us know what happens.
Re:Pain Croutonic: Thanks for your kind words, everyone. Here's an update.
Several days later, I'm feeling a bit better. I'm trying to make peace with the fact that she's not going to be coming back. I'm trying to think of the things I'm going to do differently with my life. The fact that she told me that they're sharing a bed now is strangely helpful in my "journey" towards getting over her. Or at least, getting a grip on myself enough to function.
She says that he gives her the things that I didn't, like close affection, lots of touching, etc. But then the next minute she's crying and angry because I was the love of her life and I let her slip away. A bit of a conflicting message there. She also says she still loves me, but she's adamant that there's no way that we can get back together, because it's too late. I believe her.
For my part, I'm angry that she pretended for so long, I'm angry that she invited him into our house when she knew she was in love with him, and I'm angry that she was sexual with him in the house. Since I was obviously blind to what was going on, I feel that she should have told me as soon as she knew it was over, and asked for a separation. Ideally, that would have been before she met the other guy, and maybe we could have worked something out. It would also have been nice if she had told me when she had met the guy, and knew that she wanted to be with him. Unfortunately, I know that focusing on all of that does me no good at all. I can get angry and cry and scream all that I want, but it's not going to change anything.
I think that all I can do now is try to focus on myself, fix what I can, and struggle for a way to find peace, and eventually happiness.
Re:Pain NoEscape: Same situation here bro. Sucks doesnt it ? As far as I know my wife isnt screwing this guy but she has kissed him. Who knows? This married POS works with her everyday so I have no clue what else is going on. I am my own man but the thought of losing my wife, my baby daughter, my home, my financial security is DEVASTATING ! My wife was my best friend....but like many guys here I neglected her and took her for granted. We are going to try counseling but she has already said she isnt IN love with me and counseling may be a waste of time and it may be too late.
Happy F****** New Year!
Hang in there man...we can sort of find strength in each other.
Re:Pain Croutonic: Yeah, I'm finding a lot of strength and support here, and also quite a bit of pain. Reading the posts of the women who have been neglected sexually and affection-wise is very painful, because that's what I did to my wife. She told me, but hearing the same thing from others really drives it home. Ouch. All I can do now is make sure that it'll be different if there's a next time. :(
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