does he really love me? jjbswest: This is probably gonna be sorta like one of my previous posts but gotta do it. I had to sign some papers with him today and afterward we got to talking. Basically, he said he loves me. He just don't think it can work cuz of family members. But, if we did get back together, he couldn't go to the family functions knowing they hated him. He also said that he wasn't trying to string me along, but he doesn't want to give up OW right now because he doesn't want to be alone. He said that he just wants to give it some time. Get the divorce. See what happens.But, that I would have to make some changes!? This means that he would want me to take a different job that pays more or go back to school. And then insinuated that he wanted to see changes like that before he would come home. I am wondering what about changes that he should make? like not cheating, or less drinking, or talking when we have problems, etc. I pointed things out to him and he said I don't know. Maybe I'm not thinking right. I don't know. Well, I hate the thought that we could maybe work it out eventually and be happy, and then it may be too late for me. Cause could I really be happy now? Would I be able to trust? One side of me says, what if he is lying? The other side says What if he is telling the truth? Does it even matter anymore after what he has done? I just dont' know. He hasn't asked to come home but I am afraid that's what it is leading up to. It may be for financial reasons though. but, i guess I won't know that for sure until divorce is final. After that, if he doesn't keep saying I love you and blah blah blah, then it was because of money. If he does, maybe he is telling the truth.What do you think?
Re:does he really love me? heartbroken4: jjbswest
I really feel for you. It must be so hard to hear those words and than now that he is with someone else. Trust is huge in a relationship, after my x broke it several times I kept thinking he would change and I told myself to somehow get through it but in reality I was so upset still inside. You would really have to think about it. Because since he is now with someone else it would make it harder to come back. Why is it okay for him to put demands on you; what about all he did to you? And he answers with I dont know maybe I am not thinking right? What a cop out. Sorry to be blunt but my x used that all the time. Finally I just told him no more talking about us its over.
Dont jump into anything without seriously thinking about it. Your questions are right because with everything that happened could you really be happy?
Hang in there!
Heartbroken
Re:does he really love me? Terry: Jjbswest,
It's hard enough to get through the day without him messing with your head! Mine continues to do the same to me! Says he still loves me and wishes it had worked out! I actually wanted to believe that he just needed a push from me because he was confused or neglected! Reality of it is...... he feels guilty about leaving me and liking the thought of having OW there!
I asked him "if you still love me and wanted things to work out.... why aren't you still here doing that?" He had same wishy washy answers yours did! He wants it all!
My worst night was coming to terms with that !
I tell you... he has said nicer things to me and given me warmer hugs since he left than I ever got while with him!
I gave him lots of time and space to figure out what he needed! He could go on like that forever I'm sure!
But I can't, and won't.. and I don't want you to wait like that too! It prolongs your suffering!
If he truly loved you, he'd be there! Show him you are too strong for that BS! He needs to see that from you!
Don't make this too easy for him! He hasn't made things very easy for you! If there were problems that needed to be addressed in your marraige..... it should have been done without someone else waiting in the wings! That's just cowardly when that happens!
Don't wait too long to feel good! You deserve better!
And........ you WILL see better things once you take a stand for you!
Be strong
Icare
Hugs to U
Terry
Re:does he really love me? Shanna: My stbxh said he loved me, too. He loved me but wanted to be with her.....she doesn't even want him, but he still wanted the kids and I gone. I think he doesn't know what love really is.
Re:does he really love me? txmom3: Hey girl
Try this. Tell him you want a no contact rule for 2 or 3 months then see how you feel. He is messing with your mind so much right no you cant see what he is doing. MIne does the same to me. After a few months away you will see so much clearer. Give it a try..
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