Re:Lost... Can't let anyone know sheydp: Thank you so much for that!!!! That is so what I needed to hear!!!! (the part about some things are always off limits) When she first told me it was more possible now I gently told her it hurt me. She said that was understandable, but I would have to let him go sometime. I agreed, but said she knew what I went through, and since a lot of it was around her, her being with him would be more difficult than someone else. I told her that I had hoped that as long as it hurt me so much she couldn't consider it - maybe later if I could get over him more... After some heart-wrenching emails we agreed not to talk about it unless she was actually talking to him about getting physical. (BIIIIGGGG mistake) I went after him, explained that if he kept pursuing her it would wreck his and my relationship, and put my relationship with her in jeopardy, so please don't call her all the time. Big blow-out with him, lots of tears, some cuddling (the kids were gone to grandmas for the day). I convinced myself they both cared too much to keep it going. When she visited over Christmas I made the mistake of asking if he called much anymore, he admitted it was regular. Asked if they talked about sex, he got flustered, embarrased, and refused to talk about it anymore. Checked her phone log, they called each other many times in the last few days. I was so upset I couldn't talk to her about it, especially when the kids were almost always around. Talked to her via email when she got home - that is when she said (I am paraphrasing) that I was trying to take away her friendship with him, I was being selfish and making her choose sides, that she shouldn't feel like she can't be with him if that is the way they both feel somewhere down the road and I should consider her feelings about this. (Oh, to post some of those emails!) A few emails later I requested she not contact me anymore. Love her, miss her, don't trust her with my feelings if she can tell me she could sleep with him knowing how much it hurts me.
Re:Lost... Can't let anyone know sheydp: lookin4alite - he never actually said I was sexually inadequate - in fact, he still wants me - just that he wants others too. He is a would-be-porn king, basically - not much of the gentle, intimate, slow but extremely hot stuff I love, he wanted more of the dirty side and multiple partner stuff - we had some sexual incompatibilities that way, too, but sex was not lacking or bad... (Miss that part-lol)
Re:Lost... Can't let anyone know :broken:: :-X
Dump the "friend"!!!!!!!!
[quote">
When she first told me it was more possible now I gently told her it hurt me. She said that was understandable, but I would have to let him go sometime. I agreed, but said she knew what I went through, and since a lot of it was around her, her being with him would be more difficult than someone else. I told her that I had hoped that as long as it hurt me so much she couldn't consider it - maybe later if I could get over him more... [/quote">
Gosh... I hate saying this, but it seems to me you're the only one wanting to keep this friendship. Why would you want her around you!?
Reading this got me so angry!! >:(
Re:Lost... Can't let anyone know sheydp: Did that (see the no contact part in one of my last posts...) Feel stronger, more alone.
Re:Lost... Can't let anyone know heartbroken4: sheydp
I just read your story and i must have to say that you have been through alot! Its one thing when your x h is not with you anymore but to know he is talking to your best friend. I applaud you for dumping her, she was not a friend! You are the bigger one for not setting yourself up for that. Hang in there I know it must be tough, but this site can really help you alot by not feeling alone. ITs good that you are finding things that you like, just you. Its going to be hard but its better not to know.
I know i had to learn how to completely cut myself off from my x and that was hard because I still loved him but now I dont really feel anything and could care less when I hear about another girl. But I know what you are going through! My x cheated on me with my friends! I know yours didnt cheat but still its hard when someone you thought was your friend is now looking at your x like that!
Were all here for you!
Heartbroken
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