by popular demand...my story (finally) radiogal: (deep breath) okay...here goes...
i met the most wonderful man (online) and we knew immediately we'd spend forever together, so after 4 months living together...we got married. all was blissful. about 2 weeks after we got married, he was fired from his job. that's where the trend starts. 3 months into our marriage, we had moved from wv to fl, and i got pregnant. i'm still the only one working at this point. i was then fired from my job when my boss found out i was pregnant (yeah, real piece of work, that guy)...so here we are, a full day's drive from any sort of support, i'm fired from my job, and pregnant, and he's not working either. so we move back to wv, i immediately find work, while he doesn't even bother looking for work. this continues through the abortion (couldn't very well take care of a child, could we?)...finally, after my seasonal job ends, he finds work, which lasts for about 2 months, until he gets fired again. so i find work...the cycle continues. basically, he didn't want to work unless i absolutely couldn't find a job or if i finally nagged enough to motivate him. this is a pattern that lasted for 3 1/2 years...we got evicted from a couple of places because i couldn't pay the rent on what i was making. and through all this, we hardly ever made love. (i know what you're thinking...but i mean HARDLY EVER! like, when we had been married for 2 years, it had been over a year since we'd made love) so, as you can guess, i felt pretty worthless for a long, long time, and eventually, i gave in to temptation. the reason? it was so nice to finally feel appreciated...and to feel like a woman someone would want to be with for some reason other than to have someone to take care of them.
now of course, there are a lot of subtleties (sp?) that i can't really express...i thought we were the real deal...soul mates, ya know? i fully intended to spend the rest of my life with this man, to work out any challenge that came up, you know...what we were all expecting when we got married. and now i feel like a huge chunk of my soul has been ripped away...
i told him in august that i thought we would both be happier if we split up, he agreed to move away, all was fine. i was spending time with this other guy, but let me stress i did NOT leave my husband for another man...i wanted to split up because i had been miserable for so long. but, because of the timing, i know i'll never be able to get stbxh to believe that. when we parted, we agreed to take a year and live our lives (and see if he could get his crap together) and then talk about if we were going to get back together...i'd been planning for about 2 months to go see him for christmas...a few weeks before i was to go see him, he'd lost his job again, and spent all his money, and was begging me to let him come home with me...so i didn't go see him. i called him a few days before new year's and told him i just couldn't do it, i had to stop being responsible for him, etc., and said i would contact him when i was ready to talk about it...i still haven't talked to him, and don't even know where he is...
so confused...i don't feel like i'm strong enough to talk to him yet...and i know he thinks this is all so easy for me, but it's the hardest thing i've ever had to do (except, of course, for killing our unborn child because he wouldn't help me keep us afloat)
questions? comments? advice?
Re:by popular demand...my story (finally) Shanna: hmmmmm.......sorry about the baby.....I dont' know how that feels. I am sure people will dissagree with me, but I think you did the right thing not bringing a baby into that bad situation.
Cheating is NEVER okay. You could have left FIRST.
I think it is better that you two are apart....I know another man that is like your ex and he won't change...he will never be able to keep a job. It is a certain type of person.
ALL of that is just MY opinion
BEST WISHES!!
Re:by popular demand...my story (finally) radiogal: [quote author=Sully link=board=1;threadid=7066;start=0#msg56580 date=1106240948">
Cheating is NEVER okay. You could have left FIRST.
[/quote">
i completely agree...that's a guilt that i have to live with for the rest of my life...the irony is that i've never thought cheating was something that i would ever do...it totally blew my stbx's mind because i'm NOT that type of person...but i did, so now i have to live with myself...
Re:by popular demand...my story (finally) ukchap:
Hi Radiogal
Sounds like you have been living a Greek tragedy ....
I only have a brief comment to make and it is this ...
Weird S*** Happens
UK Chap
Re:by popular demand...my story (finally) radiogal: [quote author=ukchap link=board=1;threadid=7066;start=0#msg56587 date=1106243048">
Weird S*** Happens
[/quote">
yup...my thought through all this has been:
"life's some f&%$ed up s#!@, ain't it?"
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