Re:confused... please help DOK: DNA testing for paternity is a rather simple process these days...
You might want to look into it...
I think my youngest daughter is mine, but I'm not sure. My stbx was in a relationship with OM when my daughter was conceived, but her and I were sexually active as well at the time (I didn't know about the OM at the time). So my daughter looks like me and my other kids, and looks completely different than the daughter that OM and X had a few years later. So I'm pretty sure she's mine. But I'm not 100% sure. I've thought about doing the DNA testing thing, but then I think: "What will I do if they turn up negative?" That would kill me and my daughter - so I just suck it up and keep it to myself.
That one is a really, really tough decision.
Re:confused... please help sheydp: She IS your daughter, no matter her biology. You are her father by love, time, and devotion. My brother is a lawyer, as is a friend of mine, so I know getting visitation may be difficult w/o the biology, but the courts don't make family, love does. I guess in that respect, we are your family, too, because I will be worrying about you until I hear you feel better! I know that may take time, but I will be here, and so will the other great people on this board. You are not alone, though I know we all feel that way at times. Please IM me if you need someone - or use my regular email, it is visible on my profile. Please, call the hotline if you need to, rely on everyone you can, whenever you can, to get you through this in one piece. WE CARE!
Re:confused... please help tetutigre: "DNA testing for paternity is a rather simple process these days... You might want to look into it..."
I think she's already set that up. I've gotta go tomorrow to this clinic to do a SWAB test... guys, the more I think about it, there is a great posibility that the kid is not mine.... I feel like I'm fighting a lost battle, and that I will not see her again... :'(
This is really scaring me... later on while re-reading my post, it scared me... I was pretty close to the line... but I need to remember that life goes on... and am still young (not necesarily beautiful though) and that I can have a new beginning... ::)
The tough part is... even though al this is going on... a small part of me tells me that maybe this is a lawyer's move... that maybe we could work things out... why do I still love her and are willing to firgove her and work things out when all these is happening !?!?!? ???
We have a hearing on feb 2. regarding this matter... I am really praying that I'll get to talk to her... but she might not... she might be really wanting for me to stop any contact, even with her... ???
"She IS your daughter, no matter her biology. You are her father by love, time, and devotion. My brother is a lawyer, as is a friend of mine, so I know getting visitation may be difficult w/o the biology, but the courts don't make family, love does. "
And I know that !!! I am convinced (and not to brag about myself) that I could very well be the best father she'll ever have !! Even if I knew she was not mine from the beginning, I'd still have taken her and treated her like my own !!! We are so connected with each other... we'd do a lot of things together... I'd take her out to eat and stuff... she'd always want to sit by me, and for me to get her food at a restaurant... we'd play princess, and I was the prince... or nutcracker... we'd play bubbles for hours... every single morning when I was getting ready for work, she'd wake up and get me to put a movie on for her... and she always ran out of the door when she saw me come home from work... it is SO hard to even write these things and trying not to cry... :'(
She's the only father she has ever known ! I'm really afraid of what kind of things have been going in her mind... or what people have told her about me and stuff... kids that age could be influenced rather easily I think... this is just not fair !! Why is the law, the one supposed to work for the innocent and just, working for the guilty and evil !!?!?!?!?!? >:(
I don't know what to think or what to say or write... but please keep the good thoughts and comments coming !! I really need them ! Thank you so far !
Re:confused... please help tetutigre: OK.... so I went and got that SWAB test done.... and I cried the whole way back home... :'( It is just SO dissapointing and sad that you are taking a test that you are almost sure you're going to fail... and I know about tests. I am still praying that God shows His mighty hand and does a miracle for me... just like when He split the red sea, or walked on water, or brought all those calamities, or fed the hebrews... There is nothing impossible for Him... of course we are short sighted and don't see the big picture the way He does... but it is still painful to even think about the what if's.... To make things worse, one of my dogs got hit... this is all messed up !!!
I am really confused about all this 'bout my baby. This is almost game over... might as well be. I mean, without my daughter, what am I suppose to do or fight for? Might as well let her take whatever she wants.... I still wish we could work things out. I don't wanna divorce.... I know I can't go back to what I had, but we can have a new beginning, and have something even better than what we had...
I don't know what to think or say guys... I feel so lonely right now, 'cause I feel like I have nobody to talk to or listen to what I have to say... and it's hard to go like this, and try to put on a show...
Re:confused... please help sirhc96: Well if it makes you feel any better I am listening to what you are saying. I feel the same as you, my ex wont let me see my daughter right now either. ts hard because she is truely the only thing in my life that is worth fighting for. Just have faith, everything will work out in the end. Im sorry for everything that you are going through. I dont know what I would do if I was in your place. Just hang in there and remember we are all here to listen to what you have to say if you need someone to talk to.
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