Re:confused... please help sheydp: I have to admit, I am not a good church going Christian, but I have many friends that are. One thing one always says is that God never gives you more than you can handle. This is not your reward, that is for later - this is your test. You are doing the right thing in looking for support, and know that you are not alone. We are here.
Re:confused... please help loshyra: [quote author=sheydp link=board=1;threadid=7068;start=0#msg57081 date=1106367256">
I have to admit, I am not a good church going Christian, but I have many friends that are. One thing one always says is that God never gives you more than you can handle. This is not your reward, that is for later - this is your test. You are doing the right thing in looking for support, and know that you are not alone. We are here.
[/quote">
Tetutigre..... I agree with the above. I had some of the same thoughts when I was going through all of my pain and the divorce, although I never had to deal with the cheating. But try and work on stuff while you are apart. I am sure that while you work on this you will be able to tell some of the answers to the questions like "has she changed? Did she really change" and so forth. I know while I was seperated from my ex..he kept telling me that he changed and so forth. ..However when we would try to start working on things, I could tell that he wasn't going to change or even work on anything. So trust me....you will be able to tell. But be patient. Never loose faith and always keep praying about all of it...the lord will answer, even if it is not the answer that you want or are hoping for. And remember that the lord never said that this life would be easy, he only said it would be worth it.
And you are sooo not alone. We are all here for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Re:confused... please help tetutigre: Ok..... she did not call. ???
I don't even know what to think... I might want to think maybe she couldn't get a hold of a phone... amybe her calling card died on her... maybe she finally got a lawyer and was instructed not to talk to me anymore or something... or maybe she just doesn't care and is doing it to hurt me even more...
This is really frustrating !! I hate that she is hiding - I guess she does not want to be with me anymore... but if so, why can't she just confront me and go through this legal stuff and get this over with !?!?!?! That way she can be with her lover or whatever she wants.... but instead she keeps on hiding and lying...
What can I do ??? Please advice. Thanks
Re:confused... please help tetutigre: Guys... this are not right. :-X
I finally found out she has a lawyer... and they are fighting the temporary custody order by claiming the kid is not mine... and I am afraid there is a chance that she is not my daughter... that has me devastated right now... I'm in shock and numbed... I mean, she was all I was fighting for... but if it's proven that she is not my daughter, I legally cannot do anything about custody or even visitation... why fight then? What is the meaning or purpose of this? I'm trying to take this the best possible way... but I don't know what to do...
My spirit feels so weak right now... I'd be willing everything up for being with her... I wanna work things out... I wanna talk to my wife and know what she wants... I even thought for a moment that if all this happened, there was no point on doing what I do, and feel what I feel... I guess I could say I was suicidal for an instant... but I hope I've gotten out of it... :o
Right now I wanna talk to her and see what she wants.... I don't wanna fight... I've already defeated myself of the lost hope of seeing my daughter again... and that is really depressing... and nobody freakin' cares ! At least I ave my family that cares about me, but still feel so alone... can't talk to her or my lawyer or anybody... I think I need to call that hotline... ::)
Gosh ! I don't understand !!! Even through all this pain and hell, I still love her !!! I'm SO confused and down !! Somebody please help! ???
Re:confused... please help Dino: Wow, thats a heavy burden there. How could your daughter not be yours?
Something that helped me dim my love for my ex is the hatred and loathing that I now feel for her. I don't want to hate her forever, and I don't want to be angry but it helps lessen the pain.
This woman has done nothing but evil to you from the sounds of it. She isn't deserving of your love or your time. Find out if it is your daughter. Acceptance of the end of your marriage is vital. You cannot heal the wound without first pulling out the knife.
Go to a good friends house. Find a friend you know that will listen to you and pour it out. It worked wonders for me.
Stay strong
Dino
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