Re:Brand new, would like some insight Terry: I'm all for the "talk" approach! This is the time to get it right! If you read about how so many of us on this site are desperately hurting because our ex's just chose the easy way out and found someone else to 'talk' to.... you would want to avoid that for sure! If you just pull away and don't be up front with your husband..... he may be the one finding someone special to talk to!
Talk to him straight up! And if he's not listening.... get counselling! It's the right way to do it! Don't leave it until one of you can't take it anymore! Marriage takes work.... you can do it!
Hugs and best of luck
Terry
Re:Brand new, would like some insight heartbroken4: I agree with everyone. You need to talk and communicate. You have only been married a year and a half. Those are the hardest years, you have to learn how to depend on each other and doing that is definately communicating. Once that ends than its all downhill after that. Space is good but no too much, maybe like an earlier suggestion for the weekend or something like that. But in order to feel loved and supported it has to be a two way street and counseling couldnt hurt!
Dont give up!
Re:Brand new, would like some insight savingmarriage: Thank you so much everyone! I REALLY appreciate your responses and ideas, and I think you are all right on. My husband and I talked for a while today, went out to lunch and ended up having a wonderful afternoon together. We are spending the weekend away at a bed and breakfast in the mountains and planning to talk, go skiing, out to restuarants, and just be together. I think we need that right now, and we are both looking forward to it so much more now that we have talked about everything.
I think we are going to be ok. I think that I really needed to hear people who have been there remind me how painful it is to the other person if you up and leave, even if it is just for a while. However, I do like the idea of maybe taking my own trip for a weekend - that is something that he does frequently to backpack with outdoor groups, but I do it less often. I hate the idea that if I did leave in anger sometime of not being able to take that back - that would be just terrible. We agreed that neither of us would use the term "divorce" again (well, unless we really meant business). Also, I am going to communicate way more often with him. Our relationship is funny that way - I think I am often the one not communicating (I feel like people think of that as being more the man's role). So, I need to do that more. Also, I am going to think about counseling for me to help me adjust to all my major life changes and pressures.
Thanks again everyone. I really appreciate words of wisdom from people who are down this path right now. I wish all of you luck, hope, strength and love in your journeys ahead.
Re:Brand new, would like some insight sheydp: GOOD LUCK!!!!! How we all wish we were you... :)
Re:Brand new, would like some insight loshyra: Totally wish we were you. Keep an open mind and hear him out as I am certain that he will listen to you and hear you out and hopefully keep an open mind as well. :D
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