This is a tough one.....opinions please Kellyarmendariz: Some of you have read my other postings, and I appreciate all of your thoughts. I have another tough question, and all of your input is appreciated.
I have decided that I am going to leave the "other" man and get a place of my own. I am going to try to work on things with my ex, but I decided it would be a bad move to just move back in with him right of the bat. I figure it will be best if we work things out this way.
My question is....My four year old son has gotten pretty close with the "other" man. They really bonded. This man played with him and took him places and my son really likes him. Right now my kids are with their dad. I am moving out this weekend and I don't know if I should get the kids tonight so that the "other" man can talk to my oldest child and try to explain to him that he loves him and that he will miss him. I don't want my son to think that he just left us. I thought maybe I would just explain it to him myself. I thought maybe it would be too hard on the"other" man and on my son to do that. Any advice???
Re:This is a tough one.....opinions please stuckinthemiddle: My stbx and I recently gave it another go... She had to leave her "other" man to do it, and my 6 yo step son was very upset... My stbx told him, but gave them enough time to say goodbye...
I think that that is the important part... Let them understand the reasons... Why are you changing everything on them again?? Let them have time to say goodbye... Let them know that just because you and the "other" are no longer together, doesnt mean they will never see each other again... If this man is a true friend of your son's. then there should be no reason why they cannot spend some time together, either with you and your ex, or just alone......
Of course, every situation is different, and you need to think about not only your own feelings on the topic, but to a lesser degree, your ex's as well...
Hope that helps.
Re:This is a tough one.....opinions please Shanna: That is a tough one.....I would want to tell my BF's kids goodbye, but I would do what their father that is best for them.
Re:This is a tough one.....opinions please Jennicole: make a clean break. do not let him say goodbye to your son. you should explain that as nicely as possible. do not let him be in your sons life that will only confuse your son even more. it is only my opinion. i dont feel that boyfriends/ girlfriends should be brought into a young childs life unless it is a serious relationship. it only cofuses the child and that is not fair to him/her. sorry if this sounds rude, mean etc. but i was one confused kid growing up for the same reasons. i have tried very hard to not do the same to my own son.
Re:This is a tough one.....opinions please Kellyarmendariz: Thanks for the opinions. My ex is a little sore about the whole thing. He hates it that our son get so close to someone else to begin with, and he does not want me to take the kids around him anymore. He says that I can just explain it and that should be enough. I know he is hurt and I understand 100% but I am confused about it. My son will be hurt for sure. The other thing is that when my ex and I split up we never sat down and talked to the kids about it together. He says I never gave him a chance to do that so why should I give the other man a chance to.
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