Re:Can trust ever be rebuilt? NoEscape: Good replies guys. Thanks. It sounds to me I am in for a tough battle about the trust thing. I was never a jealous person with her...even though shes hot and a lot of men desire her. Now...I dunno. Would the trust make a difference to any of you if it was only an emotional affair with some kissing as opposed to full blown out sex? Also this seems to have only been going on for 2 weeks..(assuming its over)--
Re:Can trust ever be rebuilt? Chey: Defuzer....I'm dreadfully sorry things are working out the way that they are. LT....totally relate.
To answer NoEscape.....who knows. No-one can tell you when you're comfortable to trust someone again, we can only tell you why we would'nt trust OUR ex again. We're not the ones that have to walk in your shoes. The general consensus does seem to be that it is difficult for people to forget past indiscretions though, and that's what would worry me. Saying you forgive, is one thing, forgetting? Nope....I cant do that.
Off to shovel my driveway AGAIN....I'll trade someone cookies for it!
Chey
Re:Can trust ever be rebuilt? Hells_Fairy: Well, I think that trust is so sacred and the rock of a relationship. He/she has to prove that they are worthy of having it back. I do think that it is possible, but a very long trip has to be taken and your heart has to be prepared for what ever may come.
I am going through that now. My EX says that he wants to make things work, but keep it on the "down low". That pisses me off because that's just a cop out. He tells me that he thought that the grass was greener on the other side, but discovered that it wasn't and that he should have been happy with what was at home. Why the hell would he tell me that and waste his breath on other lines of BS? Because he, just like other people, think that they can talk crap and not back it up. I always told him and people that actions speak louder than words. So, until there is effort, don't give into it.
Good luck and God bless!
Re:Can trust ever be rebuilt? Bubba: I have given this sort of subject for almost a full year now. My stbx wife started cheating on me last Feb, we separated in August. I've come to realize for me it is not about rebuilding trust. I disagree with the term rebuilding. I think you either have to start to trust the person again or you don't. If you decide to get back together with a person whom cheated on you, but are not willing to trust them, then you are just going to fail. If you are constantly bringing up the past, if you constantly being untrusting, then you will destroy any chance you may have of reconciling. How can a relationship start up again if you don't trust the other person? If you go in not trusting then you will create an atmosphere of fear, jealouy, and resentment. None of which are good for a relationship. I doubt I will ever get back together with my stbx. In fact, I honestly don't ever see it happening. However, if I did, I would trust her for if I did not, the relationship would fail before it began.
Bubba
Re:Can trust ever be rebuilt? BigRunner493: I told my stbx yesterday to stop pacifying me with talk about having second thoughts. I told her that she either wants to work things out or she dosen't. As her relationship with the guy she is dating now progresses, how can she honestly not know what she wants to do. I told her that I'll make the decision for her and told her not to worry about working things out because if she wanted to she would have done it already. She told me that she still hasn't made up her mind of what she wants. Part of me wants to bail from any attempt, then part of me wants to hold on to that little bit of hope that deep down inside there is enough "want" in her to try again. I told her not to worry about hurting my feelings or putting off decisions until the divorce is final.....if she does want to talk then let's talk, if not then just tell me.
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