Re:Can trust ever be rebuilt? Croutonic: LostTeacher, it's strange how time shifts emotions.
I'm almost certain that her current relationship isn't going to work out, but I'm dreading that phone call, if it ever comes. We need to make new plans, new goals.
Re:Can trust ever be rebuilt? LostTeacher: Croutonic
that is one of the things that i have been trying desperately to do, to focus on myself. in our relationship, the focus was always on him, never on me. i forgot the things that i liked, and just liked the things that he did (computers, country music). i wanted him to be happy with me forever, and never took the time to see if i was going to be happy. i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and never thought twice about it. it's been hard to think of me as one, and not a part of two.
i guess it does get easier. i remember more now the bad, the things that really did make the relationship poor, and the good is sort of pushed to the side. but every once in a while, those good pop back up, and i can't help but missing him. and boy, do i miss just being able to hug or kiss or cuddle with someone... but i didn't realize how much that was missing even before the breakup.
Re:Can trust ever be rebuilt? dcpowpow: Trust can be rebuilt, but it takes a special person. I have been on the bad doer side of things a few times with my wife/now ex-wife. She always forgave me, although not at first and it took work to get that trust back. I was the one that kept destroying things with her and then I had to question myself why, and it seemed that maybe she was not the right person for me and that I was seeking something else. Back to the point though, I will never forget how she did finally forgive. They never forget and things might not ever be the same, but it can be good again, if both of you want it, read again, "BOTH"
dc
Re:Can trust ever be rebuilt? Croutonic: LostTeacher, your x sounds a lot like I used to be (except for the country music - yuck! ;)). I forgot the cardinal rule of any relationship: it must be constantly maintained. I forgot to pay attention, I stopped watching to make sure she had everything she needed, and when I finally looked back, she was already gone.
I think that for trust to return, people have to change. You can't live for another person, you have to live for yourself, and be with the other person because they make you a better person. The "two halves of a whole" saying doesn't hold any water with me these days. I think each person in the relationship has to be an equal partner. If that's the case, I think the trust will be natural.
Re:Can trust ever be rebuilt? Chey: Croutonic/Lost...there are so many similarities in this to my story (I wont go into it...too long and boring), but it's amazing that we take so much for granted in our lives. trust is one of those things we give so easily, but once it's broken it's near impossible to give it back again. I certainly could never, and for my own sanity would never trust him again. It cost me too much to forgive as many times as I did.
chey
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