4yr anniversary on Thurs--Need Questions Answered Please A002702: One question from a girls point of view. Our 4 year anniversary is Thursday January 27th. Every year I would send my wife a dozen red roses and whatever year of white roses with pink tips. The white roses with the pink tips was the flowers of our wedding. I was planning on sending a dozen red roses and 4 white to her on our anniversary with no note. Should I do this, this one last time? A little info: my wife left me in October saying doesnt love me anymore and she is having an affair with a married man with 2 kids. I have doing the wrong thing by calling and begging and crying and I'm trying to stop all that and not call her at all. Divorce has already been filed but I wanted to try one last time to reconcile. She is not wanting to at all. But I really havent done the no call thing and detached myself completely. Will that make a difference or is it too late? It's been 4 months since she left. She is so ok with this divorce and when I ask how can she be so nonchalant about all this? She says because this is what she really ants and that she doesnt want to be married anymore. Is she gone forever or is she just not facing what is happening because she is involved with someone else?
I know this is alot but I so many unanswered questions.
CD :'(
Re:4yr anniversary on Thurs--Need Questions Answered Please Shanna: I wouldn't .....I would want her to think of them that day, but not actually get them.....send her a get well soon ugly flower basket...
(disclaimer: I am a bit depressed so my advice get weirder)
Re:4yr anniversary on Thurs--Need Questions Answered Please Kellyarmendariz: I think that I may have some good advice for you. Do not send the flowers, do not call, do not talk to her at all. If you have to talk to her about legal matters, or anything else, keep it short and sweet and do not talk about wanting her back. My ex tried really hard and talked about it all of the time for awhile. When he did that it just made me know that he would be there when I was ready. I felt like I could test the waters without him and see what it was like to be without him, and if it didn't work I knew he was there waiting. Once he quit doing that and got short with me on the phone and I felt like he was moving on, that got my attention....I thought "oh no our divorce is going to be final and he is moving on....I may have blown it"
Try it ....as hard as it may be.
Re:4yr anniversary on Thurs--Need Questions Answered Please abelarde: My suggestion...take all of the money you were going to spend on those flowers and get yourself something.
I'm kind of in the same boat with the distancing. Last night I went out and started a new hobby. I woke up this morning with a renewed focus. My marriage is still in the trash but at least I'm not dwelling on it.
Good Luck
Re:4yr anniversary on Thurs--Need Questions Answered Please Shanna: you know Kelly is right AND if you dont' get her back you will at least me furthering your healing process by not being around her. TRUST ME it really helps to not talk to them about anything, but business ( I have two kids).
When stbxh called for the first month I would listen to him....he would parade his crap with her in front of my face. I would hang up each night wanting to die. He would still tell me he loved me. ONE DAY FINALLY I decided to only let him talk to the kids then hang up immediately...he complained bc he thought we could be friends, but it wasn't working for me. I started feeling somuch better. I could focus on myself and what I needed to do. Don't get me wrong it still was very hard...but without his daily BS added to my depression I could start to heal.
IF I CAN DO IT>>>YOU CAN DO IT!!!
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