going backwards jjbswest: I was doing good until the ex decided to tell me that he loved, missed, blah whatever. And he says he doesn't know what to do. he's confused. i said well, I am tired of being hurt. i am tired of you trying to keep me in confusion about what you are feeling. you are still with OW so that must be what you want. i think we probably don;t need to talk anymore unless it's about the kids because i can't keep going through this. then, his mom calls last nite saying she is worried about him, he is drinking too much, in a situation that involves OW that is dangerous?! but wouldn't tell me what that was though, is sick and stressed and put on stress medication, etc. now, today, i feel depressed. i feel like i am sliding backwards and not forward just like a good friend of mine told me that i would. (he knows who he is)but, was i right to tell him that i would only talk to him about the kids and that's it. i hurt all over again when he starts in about loving me, but he is still with her. is his mother just trying to make me feel bad and keep hanging on to him? what am i supposed to do to get over him and move on and be happy which is what i really want.
Re:going backwards cloud: Hi,
I'd be interested in knowing why you thought you were doing good before your ex confessed his feelings for you?
Were you getting on with your life? Looking at the positives in your life?
It is unfair for you to be moving on with a feeling that things are settled and then be thrust back into limbo regarding your ex.
But do you want him back? If he is with the OW, why is he confessing feelings for you?
I think you are right on about keeping conversations strictly about the kids--anything else just would will lead to conversations that upset you and allow him to emotionally unload on you.
He may be unsure of his feelings. The OW relationship could be going south and he may think he could jump ship and come back to you.
Regarding his mother, you have no control over your ex anymore. And while he may be troubled right now, it's really not your responsibility anymore to worry over him or try and help him. He has to do that for himself or his own family should step in.
Now, if he is in any way putting your children in jeopardy, well that is an entirely different story.
Just my 2 cents. Keep your chin up and stay focused on what would make you happy.
Cloud
Re:going backwards jjbswest: when he was telling me that he didn't love me anymore, move on with your life, etc. i accepted it. i didn't like it but i accepted it and started moving on and dealing with it okay. then, he starts telling me that he really does love me,misses me, maybe in the future..... and he is going through all he is going through , I feel bad for him. Now, i am confused to what he really feels because he is still with her but telling me he loves me. I did feel things were settled, he didn't want me, so i had no choice but to move on. Now, I don't know what to think. I don't know why he is telling me those things when he is still with her. That's what i wonder everyday. Do i want him back? i don't know. My children are with me all the time. when he sees them, it is for a few hours without ow around. i dont' know what the dangerous situation is because she woudlnt' tell me but i am not even sure she is telling the truth. i don't know what to think anymore
Re:going backwards summerparis: I've been there, too. He may mean what he's saying and he may not. In the meantime, don't let him jerk you around. If he really wants you back, he'll find a way to do it. Everything else is just talk. He wants to see what kind of reaction you'll give him. Do you really want to get back on the roller coaster with him, esp. with this "dangerous situation" with OW?
Re:going backwards hardened_heart1970: i know what the dangerous situation is. he is out of his depends. stores are all out...............
if he REALLY wants you back, put your foot down, and say "PROVE IT TO ME NOW!!!"
tell him, its her or me now, and if its me, you will have to regain my trust before we move forward. its a chance you will have to take, as i WILL NOT WAIT for the future in case it doesnt work out with ho bag.
youve taught me there are nice people(with very sexy voice too) in the world, and we all here deserve better.
YES. I SAID I DESERVE BETTER, even though my ex says im trash, and a misfit, and no one wants me at all. im no good for nothing, just taking up air. well guess what karen, i dont want you. woops. wrong post.
**bows before you all**
yes im mentally challenged now. thanks.............
jj, dont take poop. you arent a sewer truck. ttylwid
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