women...don't understand pt 3 Sman: Hey Bubba
I used your speech on my woman last night, actually I wrote it down and gave it to her and she went and read it and came back and thanked me for being so understanding and not pressuring her. That was after the bball game we went too, and after a few more drinks we went back to her place and yup...ended up kissing and doing it. I couldn't help myself and either could she(we were both kinda drunk). She woke up this morning hating herself for what we did last night and then 2 hours later she tells me that she is horny so we do it again before I leave! Hey...maybe I could have a friend with benefits....not.
Anyway, we did talk and she told me that she is being very selfish right now in her life and that she doesn't know if she has those same feelings for me like I have for her. She said she wants to concentrate on her work and just be with her friends and have no attachment to any one. It hurt me to hear her say those things but now I know where I stand. When I left this morning I tried to kiss her and she turned her head away from me.
So, What I am going to do is what I told her, I still like her alot and that I am going to keep the door open but I am not going to wait for her, I am going to go out there and find some else. But I do like her very much. I guess I will just have to wait and see and see if she does decide to come back or at least give us another shot. So, we parted on very good terms and I told her that I still want to be her friend and would like to do things with her.
Two more things....She told me that prior to us dating she was losing all respect for men and that men were not treating her like she should be treated and since we started to date and up until last night she has gained a new confidence in men because of me and the way I treated her, like a lady. She was so thankful that there are men out there who still want to be the knight and treat the lady with respect. Second, I asked her to spend Valentines Day/Night with me. I am going to take her out to eat and just enjoy each others company. She has some reservations about it and told me that she would let me know soon. I just want to spend that night with her since we had been dating for the past 4 months. Is there anything wrong with that????
Re:women...don't understand pt 3 ChristyM: Sman-
You did great with giving her the speech and you obviously saw (and felt ;)) the results. But ... YOU DID NOT BACK AWAY!!!!! You took the first step but you need the follow through. I know you want to spend V-Day with her but you just confirmed to her that you are going to hang in there and basically have any relationship with her that she'll allow -- all on her terms. Being a woman, I can guarantee that her noncommittal answer about spending the evening with you on V-Day is just a way to keep you on the hook unless something better comes along before then. She knows with you she's assured of not having to spend that night alone. I don't mean this as harsh, just trying to explain how women think.
Christy
*And btw: I've used that "I'm being selfish" line also. Don't let her continue to play you.
Re:women...don't understand pt 3 Bubba: Hey Sman,
Well, look at it this way, women generally don't sleep with you if they are not attracted to you physcially and mentally. The thing of it is this girl has no clue what she wants. Personally you may want try to send her an e-mail that is light hearted, and isif you don't really care if she wants to go out or not. I know it is a silly game, but she is the one playing it. So flip the tables. Let see here, what to say, what to say:
"Hey "Female Player",
I just wanted to send you a quick note to say Hi. I want to thank you for your open honesty about not wanting to commit to anything. Seriously, like you said to me the other night how you were losing faith in men, I too was losing it in women. It is nice to know you can be so honest about things. The one thing I would like to point out is how you said you are being selfish in your life right now. I just want you to know I think that is a bunch of crap. If taking time and thinking about how you feel, and what you want out of life is being selfish, then I guess everyone in the world, including myself, is being selfish. So, as I said in the letter I gave you the other night, take your time and do your thinking. Of course I hope you decide that just maybe I am the guy for you and give a shout, but if not no hard feelings. I also hope you don't take to long, for like I said, I am not the type of guy who seats around mopes over what might have been.
Well, no that I got all that heavy long winded speech out of the way, lets switch to a lighter subject. I asked if you wanted to go out Valentines day, and you were unsure. No problem I understand that, I would be to in your shoes. Trust me, sitting at home eating nachos, drinking beer, and watching movie sounds pretty good to me. Almost as good as taking a very beautiful woman to dinner. Almost. So tell you what, let me take you to dinner, no strings attached. Just good food, good wine, and good conversation. I must warn you though, just because I am going take you to nice dinner on Valentines day, doesn't mean I will go home with you and put out. I do have my standards after all. I don't want you to think I am easy. So take care, and let me know if you want to have a nice dinner on Valentine's."
Hmmm,,,,,that is the best I can think of at the moment. My brain is a little clouded from the cold medicine.
Good Luck,
Bubba
