Really confused tarasan: This is really confusing to me. I have been married for 13 years and have two children. My wife came to me on Sunday and said she was leaving. This came out of left field and I asked why. She told me that she was disgusted by me!? I've been trying to find out for a few days now but she says she can't even explain. I am going through hate towards her and how she is tearing the family apart even though she doesn't have an evident reason, but still love her as I said it came from left field. Now I am most concerned about the kids (8 and 4) and how to try and do this calmly. I know we should sit them down and reassure and comfort them and that we just can't get along but I am thinking this will be difficult for me as I didn't want this, didn't see it coming and everything was going great (of course everyone has their little ups and downs) up until this point. What should I do? I'm at a point where I don't think she is entitled to anything at all, but I know that is wrong, I just don't know what to do. Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Re:Really confused Dino: My breakup was out of the blue to me, and I still don't know her reasons for leaving. She has a reason. She just doesn't want to tell you. She told you she is disgusted by you. That is a very hurtful thing to say. All I do know is that this kind of behaviour displays a gross lack of respect for you. Someone who treats you as such isn't deserving of your goodwill.
My only advice here is to look after yourself and your children firstly. Take appropriate measures to secure your and your childrens future. Perhaps you can look at counselling. Many others on here say that it is worth investigating.
good luck
Re:Really confused tarasan: Thanks for your reply. I will probably look into the counselling for sure as I don't have a family apart from the one that is leaving me hence I really don't have a support base. I am glad I found this site that I could come and express what is happening. Thanks again.
Re:Really confused Thinkin: Hey T,
Mine too came out of nowhere and I'm fixing things the best I can. My issue was started with me not letting my wife know how special she was to me and how much she really meant to me. 10 years of no compliments would kill anyone’s self-esteem yet she stayed by my side. It wasn't until she went on a biz trip and ended up getting the compliments she always wanted to hear from me coming from some other guy. This scum was able to make my wife feel so good about her self cause I could never give that to her before. So with that she ended up kissing this guy she barley knew. The thing is the min. it happened she knew it was wrong and she was able to admit her fault.
Now let's look at it like this, this guy is her co-worker and since then he has shown no interest in her, Most likely due to the fact that this POS has a wife of his own and 4 kids and was only out to get laid. Had he been single and willing I may have lost my wife, but it didn't work out that way. Now I have the second chance to make her feel special like I never did before. I just hope you get to the bottom of it and come out on top and a better person. I would assume she might be cheating. You came to the right place, you will get lot's of good help here.
Re:Really confused tarasan: Thanks again for the advice. I really have been trying to do the little things those in the last year as I have been really engrossed with work and know it so I have tried. Just little things like when I am even working on site in different businesses eg. a florist shop in the last month or two I think about her and send bouquets of flowers to her work. I have been saying I love you a lot more than I used to, trying to give hugs, etc. I don't know, I think maybe it is in our communication but I don't understand why. For instance she loves to go to the bar to dance which is fine but she always wants me to go. I'm not much into the scene anymore but I will go. Now the couple of times I have gone I have heard comments from guys and tables like, 'I'd like to #$%^ her' and 'Maybe I'll get a piece of tail tonight'. I told her this and she told me any other woman's husband would probably hit the guys so she wants my night out to be fighting. I mean we have fought about this and discussed it rationally and she has come back a couple of times with comments like 'I don't give a #$%^ I like it' and she is referring to the dancing and never hears the comments. I even said fine can't we try to work something out and understand that that kind of stuff hurts me. She said sure don't come to the bar??? I don't know so confused, sorry for rambling as I am positive I am neck deep in some stage right now. Thanks for listening.
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