Re:Question clb: I think we may be married to the same person! My husband did the same exact thing and used the same lines to me (except without the traveling). It has only been a month and a half. I am still numb and in denial, but realizing each day that it will happen no matter what. My husband also refused counseling. I had orginally started in hopes to have him join me later on. He unforuntaly does not believe in it and says it will not help so therefor has never joined me. I have been continuing for myself, but we seem to be analyzing all of his moves in my therapy session. Not sure if it is helping me. But, has made me realize that i am not the one that has the problem. My husband kept saying he was angry and unhappy and felt the only way out was divorce. I left my home for two weeks to give him time to think. This only led him to believe that without me around he was happy. When I returned he said his anger and unhappiness returned. He told me ten years to the date we got engaged (on Christmas Eve) that he had made his final decision that there was no other way for him to be happy but to divorce me. Everyone kept telling me there had to be someone else. I began to question to whether or not there was because why else would he just want to end it without trying everything to make it work. But, I came to realize that he just needs to be away from the problem (me) to find out if it is me that is making him unhappy. I feel he has internal anger and is projecting it onto me because I am around. No matter what you do or say your husband will still need this space. I hope for myself and you that once they are away they will realize that it is not us, but themselves that are making them unhappy. They may realize to late and each of us may have moved on. As others said the more you try to push the subject the more your will push him away. I feel for you. Good luck and as others have told me think of yourself. I know this is hard, because I am still working on this myself too. ???
Re:Question Chase: rsvz200,
He does not want you to go to counselling by yourself? Tough luck for him. Go to counselling. I know what you're feeling because my wife has given me a variant of the "ILYBINILWY" speech. While some things are different, and we are going to see marriage counselling soon, I have found seeing a counsellor for myself immensely rewarding. If nothing else, it helps to talk about it to someone, and a counsellor can help you think about your own future.
I'm sorry for the pain and hurt you are feeling.
Chase
