Confession day tossed: well heres a little update. My wife after fileing divorce papers just before thanxsgiving. soon after she decided
to try to work things out. during the next two months I
asked daily about her goings on sence I had a bad feeling
she had slept around. well she lied over and over about
various outright questions as well as little things in an attept to hide her goings on. turns out she was fu*king the bar tender at her favorite bar. Im glad she finaly told
me but Im devistated and confused. It wasent a shock I
was pretty sure already it happend. how do I pick up from here shes come clean and wants to be forgiven etc. I dont
want to lose my 4 kids my stake in our home or be alone.
but then I dont want to love someone who could do this to me eather. It hurts so bad. How can things ever be good after this.
Re:Confession day BigRunner493: tossed,
it is going to be a tough road ahead, but the things you've listed in your post sound like things worth the battle. you need to understand why she did what she did, how your relationship got to the point. undertanding why it happened will help you and her make your relationship much stronger that it was before.
granted, forgetting what she did will be very difficult, but if you make the decision to work on your family and your marriage, then it has to be part of her past and yours. don't let it destruct any progress you both may make in rebuilding your marriage. you both will have to decided that once the infidelity has been discussed and dealt with, that it will not become a roadblock down the line.
i hope that things turn out the way you hope. not many get that second chance.
br
Re:Confession day tossed: Should I even try for a second chance? Im angry, hurt,
jealous, etc. I dont know if it will happen again. I cant
get it out of my mind. All I can think about is some other
mans penis in my wife. How could she have lied to me all
this time and say she wanted to work things out.
Re:Confession day CoryL: [quote author=tossed link=board=1;threadid=7525;start=0#msg60165 date=1107448764">
Should I even try for a second chance? Im angry, hurt,
jealous, etc. I dont know if it will happen again. I cant
get it out of my mind. All I can think about is some other
mans manhood in my wife. How could she have lied to me all
this time and say she wanted to work things out.
[/quote">
None of us can answer that question. Only you can offer a second chance and feel that it is right.
This is an instance that I think marriage counseling would be helpful. If she wants to be forgiven and get back together, tell her you want to see a counselor together. If she refuses, it might help you decide which way to go.
I know that I wouldn't be able to trust my STBX again after she cheated. At first I thought we could work things out, but I didn't know the whole story. Trust is a delicate thing. It takes a moment to break and may never be repaired.
Remember to do what is best for you (and your children if you have any), not for her. Your health is what is important now.
Keep your head up.
