You said I could "vent"...sooo........ pleesehelp: I was told I could just vent if needed so Im assuming nobody minds if I express my feelings.
I thought I was doing so well lately but last night at work was a bad night for me. The radio mentioned something about Valentines Day and it hit me that this will be the first one in ten years I wont be enjoying it with the one I love. She will be enjoying it with the OM and probably buy each other a gift while I sit at home like an a$$. It's not like she left or were divorced or anything but she is enjoying herself with this guy. Maybe its self-pity, but something was hitting me last night and I guess Im not fully recovered (or as much as I thought I was) and I did a lot of crying into the morning. I didnt cry as much because I want her back, I was crying because she hurt me. She could have just left-she didnt have to hurt me as an add-on.
Ive admitted numerous times to her and to all of you I may have hurt her thru lack of affection because I understand more now that it hurts to be somewhat neglected. I wasnt mean. I was never dishonest. I never went out drinking or hanging out somewhere. Ive never put her down and have always supported her in everything she did. I think I've even helped her grow into the woman she is today. But I've learned its sometimes the little things I stopped doing that can affect; like lying next to her in any free time between our schedules or being more open in public or being excited when she gets home from work or even going out once in a while with or without the kids.
Yes I screwed up and I guess that pushed her away(theres no denying that) But did she have to lie and cheat behind my back for the last 3 months,or longer, (if theres any truth in that either)? She said I wouldnt have given her a divorce if she had come out and asked for one. I dont know how I would have reacted but thats no excuse to find another man and pretend that everything was as usual at home.
This Friday He wants to take her and the kids out (for the second time) again, because the kids didnt get a chance to see the movie they wanted last time. But then she asks me if Ill be home Sat night (she knows Im not going anywhere) because her and him want to go out dancing (yeah right,dancing). Now Im going to feel like an a***hole sitting at home knowing my wife is out having a good time with another man. No wonder I feel sick!
Well we will be going for our divorce soon and she sounds like she doesnt want me back and has her future set. She said we will agree on everything and get thru this as smooth as possible(including the house,the car,child support,which she says she doesnt want & everything else involved) But with another man in one of her ears theres a good possibility any of her decisions could change at any time, especially if they marry which is their plan (from what I know)
Sorry I rambled but this site always helps me feel better after reading the thoughts and ideas of the wonderful people here! Thank you all for your time. I hope my next topic is a positive one!
Re:You said I could "vent"...sooo........ Jennicole: pleesehelp,
i dont really know your story, but i must say you are a very strong person, and a wonderful influence on your children. i cant imagine going through what you are going through and living under the same roof as your wife. vent as much as you want to, that IS what this site is for. i hope only the best for you. when are you guys supposed to move out?
Re:You said I could "vent"...sooo........ heartbroken4: pleesehelp
You have come to the right place if venting is what you are looking for!
I know things must be hard for you. Marriage is something that is precious but hard. I know I didnt support and do the things at times I should of. I think we all are guilty of that some time or another but that does not justify cheating. Sometimes its easier for the mate to hide and lie than to tell what they are doing....
I know for mine my xh turned to drugs and that was it for me. But that didnt mean that we didnt have other problems. The answer is if they would have been willing to work out "the problems" than the situation would have been different. But instead they chose the easy way out and we are left to hurt and grieve.
Do not sit there and blame yourself! Its not going to help at all. If she has moved on than you should start getting past it. Its hard because 5 months later I am still working on it. Enjoy your kids and try extremely hard to live for the moment with your kids it will distract you from thinking what the other one is doing. I felt that same way on New years!
Hang in there!
HB4
