Very depressed tonight 1973kendoll: Hi everyone, Im really sad and depressed tonight, Im feeling like a big loser with nothing. Ive been thinking of my ex constantly throughout the day, and told myself I was going to take the night off from getting plastered. My heart is aching so badly and I feel as though Im going to go crazy in my parents house; there is so much negativity and dysfunction here. People keep saying Ive lost weight, and I guess I have. I think the people I just started working with think Im a snob, Im very quiet, and hardly strike up any conversations with them, I'm just not into the whole "waiting tables thing now". The cooks are starting to rag, tease, and taunt me, and I try to rationalize there hatred, meaness, and immaturity. Ive dealt with this before, but now that I dont have someone to come home to and grieve to, it just makes me sad and mad. I want desperatly to get my life together, but I feel as though I hit rock bottom, and there is no way back for me.
James
Re:Very depressed tonight sheydp: Ok, finally got back on... First and foremost James, - you are not alone. You are already on your way back, you will make it. Next, I know how hard a negative work environment can be. You spend so much time there, to have people like that get on you during a hard time is really rough! Is there a chance of finding another job -even if it just waiting tables elsewhere? If not, remember you are who you are, not who they want to squash you down to be. You have us to grieve to, and I would hug you if I could! You WILL get your life together, you don't need him, you don't need alcohol, you just need to give yourself time without giving up. What are you interested in? Get started on that. (By the way, I want to see the answer, it is not just for reflection!)
Also - I may not be able to answer right away, but feel free to send pages of letters to me directly if you need to grieve, ok? YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Re:Very depressed tonight Chase: Hey James,
If there's one good thing about hitting rock bottom, it's that there's only one direction left to go in!
Give yourself time, things will get better - I'm sure of it. Let yourself grieve, and while you're grieving and thinking about the things you're missing, see if you can also think about the things you aren't missing.
Chase
Re:Very depressed tonight gumby55555: Nice post, Chase... I'd definitely agree; often, when we're in the throes of self-pity and missing them like crazy, we idealize them to no end and forget about all the negative aspects of them and the relationship. The leaver in a relationship (whoever checks out first), has usually already stacked the scales on the side of the negatives by focusing too much on the negatives and ignoring the positives; the leavee tends to do the opposite. Perhaps both can reach a middle ground to get some much-needed perspective on the relationship and recognize it for what it objectively was, not just what it *feels*like it was.
Re:Very depressed tonight sheydp: Wow, you guys are so much better at this than me! Listen to them, they are right! :)
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