Re:Feel Too Bad Beren: I also agree with Lemondrop, but I'll add...
"Don't feed the animals"... When we would see this sign as kids, I'll bet most of us were confused and thought, "Why would it be wrong to do something nice for them." But later we learned that it was because the animals would grow dependent on humans, and if we really cared about their well-being, we would let them take care of themselves. (It's different, obviously, with pets, where we intend to take care of them for the rest of their lives, so their dependency isn't a problem. They also, not by coincidence, are animals of such a disposition that they don't maul us for no apparent reason.) It took me a long time to further realize that my wanting to feed the animals wasn't even altruism on my part. It was that I *wanted* something from them. I wanted them to like me, or at least be unafraid of me. I wanted to be able to see them closer up.
The analogy I'm getting at, obviously, is that your ex needs to figure out his life on his own. Your protecting him only makes him more dependent and less capable. You probably already realize that. The question you might want to ask yourself is whether you still feel the urge to take care of him emotionally, not because he needs you to, but because you just don't like the idea that he might start hating you. You know, it'll be okay if he doesn't like you!
Sugar Beren
