Soulmates - Existence? Dino: How many of you believe that there is one true person out there for each of us. Just one soulmate?
I used to think that about my ex. I thought we were made for each other. Obviously not.
I am now of the belief that we just move from person to person until we meet someone that we are comfortable with. Someone we can stand being with for the rest of our lives. Is it defeatist thinking to not believe in fairytale love? I mean I had it not too long ago but I have seen where that can lead. I always thought me and my ex would work because we were such great friends as well as lovers. Weird things happen.
What do you guys think?
Re:Soulmates - Existence? in_search_of: "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."
Re:Soulmates - Existence? JimB: A good topic, and one that's been visited and revisited on these here boards.
Short answer is no, they don't exist. Longer answer is it's a healthy way to think about the person you're with if you're in a life partnership, but not a good way to think if you're out in the market looking for a relationship.
Re:Soulmates - Existence? Spectrum: I have a little different take on things....
I think that there definitely is the possibility of finding soulmates, but that there isn't just one person out there for everyone.
I guess a better way of phrasing it is "finding the total package, and then figuring out what faults you can live with."
It took me a really long time and a divorce to figure out that there are two steps to finding the right person. The first is finding someone you *really* connect with, not just enjoy hanging out with. I dated lots and lots of guys that I had a terrific time with and enjoyed their company on some level or another. And I spent alot of time trying to convince myself that I was really excited about these guys when I just wasn't.
Twice in my life I have met someone that got past that initial interest and really connected with me. The first time was my ex, and unfortunately I was too young and naive to understand that love does *not* conquer all, and that loving someone and being able to be happy with them are not even close to the same thing.
The second one is a work in progress, but even with my "post-ex" radar in ultra-sensitive mode, I'm only picking up good things... And that is so exciting to me that I can hardly believe it! 8) :-*
I think it is really important, though, to go into the dating scene with your eyes wide open. Don't get all glassy-eyed over the first interesting guy (or girl) that comes along. You need to be realistic about whether you are connecting with the person, and then even more realistic about whether there are red flags there that you should be paying attention to.
After all, my ex is out there somewhere dating someone at this very moment, and I wouldn't wish that guy on my worst enemy!!! :-X
Spectrum.
Re:Soulmates - Existence? CoryL: We have several soulmates in a lifetime. People that come into our lives for reasons unknown to us until they leave. How long they stay is indefinate.
My stbxw was a soulmate for five years. She taught me about love and what I am capable of giving, taking, and being in a serious relationship. Now I can take that knowledge and apply it to the next soulmate.
Soulmates don't have to be "life partners" either. Amazing friends and family members can be soulmates.
I see soulmates as people in a pool. You may run across them in your life, you may not, but the possibility is still there.
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