Why are we so dumb sacoderisa: I was in a relationship that didn't work for 3 years, she likes to go out, I love to go out....bad thing is I love going out with her, she loves going out with her girls and that's that. It is messed up because she left me about six months ago......and Stupid me is the one begging her to come back.......she is back now.....why I am still with her, i do not know. It makes my life miserable, but I feel just as misserable alone. she gets rid of my friends and then blames me for not having friends to go out with. and when i complain, she totally goes off on me. i hate being controled like that, but i stay? WHY AM I SO FREAKING STUPID!
Re:Why are we so dumb Chase: Hi,
Welcome to ojar.
I reckon the first thing you need to do is stop beating up on yourself. It sounds like you need to spend some time getting yourself together.. the whole "she makes my life miserable, but I feel just as miserable alone" thing suggests to me that you don't really know what you want. I think I have learned over the last month or so that you can't work on a relationship until you've worked on yourself.
Have you considered personal counselling, I mean on your own? It's been really helpful to me helping me sort out why I am unhappy, what I can do to find out who I am and what I want with my life. It's not over, but I'm starting to get a handle on things.
Chase
Re:Why are we so dumb Chey: I'm with Chase on this...try not to beat yourself up about this and rather than shouting questions that sound unanswerable actually think about what you're asking...Why DO you put up with it? You're obviously so unhappy and miserable, so what is it that you're staying for?
You've asked yourself a pretty big question there, any chance you could sit down and think about it, and come up with an answer for yourself?
Chey
Re:Why are we so dumb sacoderisa: I mostly stay because of my daughter, if we didn't have a baby togheter probably I would have just ketp her out of my life alltogheter like I've done with other relationships. And i know you never forget, but you learn how to deal with it. Before it used to be me giving advice to my friends, now I can't even follow my own words from before. Hopefully time will make everything better and will make her see what mistakes she is making in order to make everything better.
Re:Why are we so dumb Lumpy: Dear sacoderisa,
So don't let her chase your friends off. Put your foot down. What's good for the goose etc,etc. Marriage is a partnership. No one person should get to dictate terms. Stay Sane.
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