Sex question for the ladies... NoEscape: My saga continues.
Heres the deal---wife and I are trying to work things out...key word is trying. We get along well and are trying not to discuss whats "wrong" with our relationship every night. Although sometimes we do anyway(usually prompted by me and my trust issues--I am not accusatory--just want to make sure this is what she wants) So on monday we had some pretty passionate love making. With I love yous exchanged during(her to me first). It was really great, hot, warm and loving.
So this weekend we planned on spending the whole weekend together with the baby. We had some flirting thru email thruout the day(mostly me) I came home last night--I bought dinner-put baby to sleep. We then sat in dining room...she proceeded to tell me how tired she was--no biggie I guess. A friend dropped by...they procedded to chat(me as well) for about 90 minutes. She left---I then decided to come on to her. She said she was too tired--we went back and forth a bit and ultimately went to sleep. She felt guilty about not giving me sex and I felt rejected. Of course thoughts wander thru my head...maybe shes havign sex with someone else, maybe she doesnt want sex from me because theres no emotional connect...I dont know.
Next morning she is still feeling guilty I guess about turning me down. So when our kids went to nap she showered and said lets go. I showered....was psyched.
This time was sooo different from monday...no passsion from her. We did it but it was cold. She had an orgasm but it was clear to me she wasnt into it...what does this mean? We have NEVER had sex like this before. She was always wayyyy into it. Even a few days ago. Im confused.
Re:Sex question for the ladies... Shanna: Sometimes I JUST don't want it. It isn't anything personal for the guy I am with....I just cannot get into it sometimes. I think it is a hormonal thing or something....who knows....Just don't over think yourself into jealousy and hurt feelings.
Re:Sex question for the ladies... ChristyM: NE-
Try not to read too much into this. Women put a lot of thought and feelings into sex and most likely she did feel guilty about not giving you some the previous night. I myself have a hard time faking it so I probably would have come across like she did. I would honestly want to do it to make sure you understood I was still wanting to keep working on the relationship but it would have been hard for me to be all passionate in that circumstance. Did that just make sense?
Believe me, if she didn't want to have sex, you all wouldn't have had sex.
Christy
Re:Sex question for the ladies... sheydp: A few days ago there was anticipation, excitement, the waiting built to a great time... This time it was obligatory sex. The sex you have because you feel you have to. Guys, if you want to keep girls happy, NEVER, NEVER let them give you obligatory sex. It may stimulate their bodies and appease their guilt, but it won't get them in the head or heart, and that is where truly great sensuosness and sexuality come from. I had lots of obligatory sex because he wouldn't take the time and effort necessary to stimulate my mind/heart first (not that I am saying this is like you, NoEscape - you know better than that, I KNOW you do ;)). But I'll tell you, have enough sex because you feel like you owe someone, eventually you feel like a blow-up doll! Heres my body, have fun, I'll come back when its over! If you aren't 100% sure she wants it with all her body/mind, don't let her - the sex next time will be so worth the wait! (Besides, in private, your hand needs a workout too!. :o Did I say that? ;)) Sorry to be so crude, but you asked!
Re:Sex question for the ladies... ChristyM: I completely agree with Sheydp ...
She did it because she thought it was what you wanted. When it becomes about what YOU want and she's not doing it for HER, then it's all downhill from there.
Guys, when you sense your lady isn't into it (for whatever reason), then try really hard to shut off those hormones and tell her you'd rather just lay together. It might be hard in the short run but it will definitely benefit you in the long run.
Christy
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