Re:Sex question for the ladies... sheydp: I agree, those surprise boffs can be fantastic! I really like the shower thing - or a massage can jump start it, too - lots of oil! (That can even be followed by a shower... hmmm...) That said, though, both parties have to be willing to buy in... If you start it and you see reluctance, you have to be willing to shut it down. Usually guys are more willing to buy in, but even they have times when exhaustion, stress, or emotional baggage make it hard to jump into that... Women may be willing, too, but trying to jump right in when she doesn't want it can be a disaster, too!
Re:Sex question for the ladies... Shanna: Sometimes if the guy takes his time the woman can change from Cold to HOT and actually want it. I need some preptime....my stbxh never gave me that so sex was a um....chore. My new guy takes the time to make me feel wanted and special and all that ;) and I get into it. STILL though there are times when I still don't really have the "need", but if he takes the time to prime me....I can enjoy the mental/emtional connection and just enjoy the physical....with no umm....goal.
Am I making sense?
Re:Sex question for the ladies... sheydp: TOTALLY!!! That is true... If you feel like they are only pleasing you to get to sex, it is hard to get into it. If they are just "screwing around" because you are hot to them, that can turn on the coldest and tiredest me, at least!
Re:Sex question for the ladies... NoEscape: [quote author=sheydp link=board=1;threadid=7595;start=0#msg60797 date=1107619671">
TOTALLY!!! That is true... If you feel like they are only pleasing you to get to sex, it is hard to get into it. If they are just "screwing around" because you are hot to them, that can turn on the coldest and tiredest me, at least!
[/quote">
Well--my wife has told me that everytime I give her a massage or kiss her neck it ALWAYS leads to sex.or at least me wanting it...I am trying to get away from that..believe me. But its hard to reverse years of that...
Sometimes with the baby its so hard to find any TIME to do it, whenever theres an opportunity I just want it ! When nighttime rolls around my wife is very tired, sometimes I just take it as a lack of interest even though she tells me she thinks of me during the day and has big plans for sex but by the time the day is over she is exhausted. I tried to take care of dinner and baby and I feel we are getting along pretty well so I thought the stage was set. I didnt account for the whole tired thing...plus she seemed really lively talking to her friend. I guess sometimes I want my wife just to look at my muscles and be like.."DO ME NOW !" --Thats the way I feel when I see her in tight pants.. :P.
-I guess I am just being a guy but I am open to changing so any suggestions..let em fly. I am trying to rule out she has hots for anyone else....which I dont *think* is the case. So lets keep that out of the picture.
Re:Sex question for the ladies... ChristyM: [quote"> if he takes the time to prime me[/quote">
This cracked me up. I think I'll have to start using that phrase!
And NE ... sometimes like the other ladies said you can just pick up on her signals and then go to bed. While you're laying there, just ask her if you can cuddle with her and then after a few minutes, lightly touch her arm, her leg, play with her hair, whatever. Do it slow and gentle and see if she doesn't respond to your touch. It relaxed me and that helped turn me on. This almost ALWAYS worked with me b/c it gave me the impression the ex was willing to take the time to get me in the mood. He made it about me, not him.
Christy
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