Re:Seeing him Valentines Day - UGHHH sheydp: No, my daughter wants just family (I think because she knows I am embarassed to have anyone in my house in its current state :-[) so she isn't inviting anyone else... I might tell my mom to convince her to invite my neice and her baby, that would help immensely!
Thanks, Chase, you're great! That little kick of confidence from someone telling me I can make it can really help sometimes, you know?
Re:Seeing him Valentines Day - UGHHH jjbswest: wouldn't have expected any different from smo-kin ;) but i thought he was gonna say hit your ex with the hammer!LOL that wouldn't have surprised me either!
anyway, advice, hmm. well, i wonder if you aren't wanting him there yourself a little bit. really understandable. but knowing what i know about your situation, i think there may be a good reason that you would do this. if you don't understand what i mean, just message me. but, whether you are or not, you are gonna have to learn to get along somehow for the kids. and i don't mean you have to be friends but you do have to learn how to talk and act in front of them. having someone else over may help you. great idea, chase. all i know to say is you will get through it and it will be hard. i agree with smo-kin when i say that i couldn't do it either. i am just now to the point that i can put them in his car (forgot he doesn't have one.LOL) . i mean someone elses car and send them off with him without feeling sad. my point is it does and will get easier. just do what you feel and don't read anything into it and don't let him think that there is a motive on your part either. good luck. let me know how it goes.
jj
Re:Seeing him Valentines Day - UGHHH NoEscape: Hi Shey:
You can do this--you have done many things in the recent past that have been harder I am sure. Keep your focus on your children and it will be easier. Also keep in mind that the man coming over is not the man that you want to be with.
He is a man who is cheating with your best friend.....the man you fell in love with doesnt seem to be there anymore. You can and will get thru this. Act as if nothing is wrong and be happy. At least for this party...think of it as you are Meryl Streep acting in a movie. It will make things easier. Feel free to IM me if you need to...you have been very helpful with me and my issues the least I can do is repay the favor.
Re:Seeing him Valentines Day - UGHHH BigRunner493: sheydp,
i think being together as a family (as you will always be family), is important to you child. feel privileged that your daughter still feels it necessary for her father to be part of her plans.
i know that i couldn't do it, not right now, i can't even go into the house i lived in. too many memories.
good luck.
br
Re:Seeing him Valentines Day - UGHHH sheydp: Wow... Thank you all!!! NoEscape, how did you know I used to do theater? ;)
I will just focus on the kids, thanks... I do like that she wants him as part of her life - he is a great daddy. I am glad he is willing to participate in activities she wants him at... I should consider myself lucky.
You are all right, too, that this is supposed to be for them, not me, and I will try to focus on that. Little extra bit of info.. The child organizing this has basically the same stress disorder as her daddy, but we are catching it young enough to get her help that will allow her to live as an adult as if she never had it. Part of why I can't disappoint her is that she looks for parts of her life she can control, and this is a way for her to control her surroundings in a positive way... She would get soooo stressed out if she couldn't do this thing she had been planning...
I really, really appreciate all the support... I will be re-reading this thread as it gets closer...
Thanks!!! :)
