family interference mightymouse: why is it that my family all of the sudden feels the right to govern over me and treat me like i am some kind of handicap and not able to make my own decisions???
since i have been having this problem with my stbx i have cried with my mom everyday for the past month, my dad was also there (not as much as my mom), and my brother was never there... although he was always there to judge me and to tell me "i told you so" as well as to tell me that it was my fault for not listening to them before getting married.... and of course neither of my parents tell him to shut the F@@@ up... as if i need this right now.... especially since he has never been there for me or my parents... all of the sudden he is playing this role of matured, well behaved, level headed and responsable son when all he has done all of his life is worry my parents with his behavior!!!! it has gotten to the point that eventhough i moved in with my parents, i can not stay there anylonger, but yet i don't feel strong enough to move out.... and they are taking advantage of it.... my mom has always been very posessive and needed to know and have control of everything... and sometimes this cause some minor conflicts in my marriage... this is why i don't blame her for the break up.... but know becasue she has been there by my side she thinks all of the sudden the right to run my life!!!! it's like she is taking advantage of the fact that i am emotionaly week to do what she has always done...control my life......i mean, when they were helping me move my things from my apartment, she was already disposing of some of my stuff..like.. oh... son.. you can take this... you cantake that.... as if i needed to feel robbed by my family like i was emotionally robbed by my husband!!!! and when i told her to stop what she was doing... she got offended and my brother came to her defense.... they would take my cell phone just to make sure that i wasnt calling my ex.... my brother changed his computer password so that i can not get into the internet....and yesterday...i told her that some of my old friend where going to come next week to take me out so that i could distract myself... and since they are guys... she was like.... oh...gosh Amy.... don't go falling for the same kind again!..... and i got so offended... and her and my brother say that they have the the moral right to protect me and tell me what to do because since i was so stupid to marry my husband.. i don't have the mental capability to see what good and bad!!!...all this power that my parents have given my younger brother is making him feel like the perfect son.. and when i try to tell them this... they are like.. understand him... he just wants the best for you.... as if he cared so much for me that when this happened to me he prefer going to his girlfriends house and not stay home with me...and everytime i want to talk to him about my problem he is like... if it's about the @$$whole, i don't want to hear it.... so after all the worries that he has caused my family and still causing... what gives him the right to judge me.... specially when my other mistake was to fall in love with someone who lied to me.... its like.... hello..... if i knew he was such an @$$whole... i wouldn't have married him!!!!! he is just loving the power trip, my mom is loving the fact that he is defending her and my dad is caught in the middle... and i am just hating them for taking advantage of my situation to control me and my life at my worst time.... its like waht my husband did to me but in the family version!!!!!!!like i need this right now!
Re:family interference Shanna: I could have written this (except the brother part) a few months ago. Since then I have moved out on my own....and things are much better. My mom wanted me to report everything to her.....she would constantly bring up OW and stbxh and tell me it was my fault and all kinds of crap. I told her she was making it worse. She didn't see it. I finally got a house and moved out with my two boys.
No advice for you.....just wanted you to know you are not the only one and that I am here for you if you need me ((HUG))))
Shanna
Re:family interference mightymouse: thank you Sully, it's nice to know that i am not the only one who is/went through this....... and to make matters worse, they make us feel like we are so ungratefull for everything they have done for us!
Re:family interference Chey: Mightymouse...
First off please understand that I'm posting based purely on this post, so I'm sorry if this sounds harsh and please take it in the best way possible.
Your post actually sounds like you're a fed up teenager. You're allowing your family to treat you this way. You seem to have lost the your identity along the way. Perhaps moving out, gaining your own independence back and re-learning who you are, and gaining your own identity again will help with your relationship with your parents. As for your brother...do you really need to be worrying about sibling rivalry at this age and stage of your life?
Your parents and brother are treating you like the teenage runaway returned home. They obviously never respected your decision to marry in the first place, but you're also allowing them their opinions. Your identity right now seems to be as devestated wife and pi$$ed off daughter. When do you become the strong woman able to prove to yourself and both parties (the ex and the family) that you are "just" Amy. Try to break free of the co-dependant and obviously destructive relationships that you're surrounded with. Your parents mean well, but like anyone they'll treat you the way you let them. As for the brother...they're never too old for a good kick in the pants..and yours sounds like he needs one.
Best of luck MM
Chey
Re:family interference mightymouse: thanks Chey... I needed to hear that!!!... you are right, i need to break free and find myself again..
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