Re:that's fair? isn't it? amola: twg.....
i'm basically with sad eyes on this one...going back and forth between the two options. but i'm leaning more toward telling her "hey, it's your problem, not mine" and forcing her to make the arrangements to get her belongings. i have a couple of reasons for saying that....
(1) she was irresponsible for leaving without taking anything with her
(2) she needs to take responsibility for her actions--if she is going to pursue this job and new life, etc., she needs to do that on her own
(3) let's just say that you pack the stuff and send it to her, and for whatever reason, it (a) doesn't get to her, (b) something turns up missing, or (c) it gets damaged in transit. who is she going to blame? YOU. let someone else pack it up and get it to her if she doesn't want to do it herself.
you have enough on your plate right now......you don't need to be bothered with her things too.
but then again, if you pack it up and ship it, then it's out of sight, out of mind.
"one person's lack of planning on their part does not make a crisis on my part"
good luck!
:)
amola
[size=1"> *edited because i seem to have a typing impediment again tonight[/size">
Re:that's fair? isn't it? Sad Eyes: Amola~ That is exactly what I was thinking but couldn't find the words to say it like that.
I second Amola...she brought up some very good points!
Good luck!
SE
Re:that's fair? isn't it? teacherwriterguy: I absolutely said I wasn't packing any breakable stuff for just the reason you mentioned, Amola. If I don't pack it, I can't be blamed if it isn't in good shape when it makes it to her.
As it is, I kind of left the ball in her court. I said, "Call your family. Ask them to come out this weekend and deal with it. Let me know if they just can't do that and we'll figure something else out."
I suppose we'll see.
I know it must seem like a small little issue to fret about, but, you're right, I have felt like there's too much on my plate right now. And being asked to make her life easier (even if it was a small thing) just pushed my buttons, I suppose!
Thanks, guys, for the swift advice. I do appreciate it! :)
teacherwriterguy
Re:that's fair? isn't it? Amira: I can sympathize.
When my STBX moved back across the country I got stuck here at our old apartment packing and taking care of all of his stuff because he was too busy at the OW's house taking care of his things there. Even now I am still responsible for his things and have to constantly shuffle them around, unpack our old storage boxes, separate the stuff and repack them.
It annoys the life out of me. On the one hand, he left--why isn't he doing his own dirty work? On the other, I just don't want to argue with him about it so I usually give in.
I don't know if that makes me a pushover or a wimp or what. Maybe I need to take lessons from you. The only thing I'm afraid of is that whenever I can't do anything for him, he sends the OW to do it for him. I don't want ya'll to think I'm some kind of pyschotic freak or something, but honestly if I came home one day and found her in this house, I may actually kill her, so, I want her to stay as FAR away from me as possible.
And I assure you I am usually a very mild mannered, demure, and retiring kind of individual with a rational sane mind. I don't know what it is about her that just punches every single button I have.
Re:that's fair? isn't it? cadillacjack:
When my stbxw bailed, she left some of the her most important possessions with me. (a wooden model airplane her deceased father made) on the premise that I would forward it to her when she settled.
In retrospect, I guess this was a way to let her go easier and to trust her to do the right thing and, which needless to say, didn't happen.
The other thing is sometimes when they take their property, esp. sentimental stuff, it puts a finality on the breakup.
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