Lust + Time = Love ??? Daniel: How do you really know what you're feeling? There have been discussions about love at first site, developing friendships into something more, rebounds, and the works; which are all great in hindsight, but what about the next relationship? Why does it sometimes take 1, 5, 10+ years to realize something's not right? Each person's relationships progress at different paces, so simply having a checklist of things to watch out for might not be enough. And on top of that, if such a list worked it means you can't really trust what you're feeling, because you're not being "objective".
When you fall in love, and I mean really in love, can you feel the difference?
-Daniel
Re:Lust + Time = Love ??? Daniel: I'm not trying to jump off another philosophical cliff, but am actually interested in how people feel. For myself I tend to get worked up with the whole courtship thing and it's more infatuation then anything else. When this wears off, I'm left feeling ok and in stable relationships, but that feeling of a "deeper" connection is missing. The closest thing to real love is probably my feeling towards my dogs ( I don't have any "real" kids). They're there, and that's all that's needed.
-Daniel
Re:Lust + Time = Love ??? ChristyM: When I met my ex, I knew right away that I liked him. It was the definition of chemistry all the way around. I wanted him bad, he made me laugh like crazy and we just seemed to have a certain level of comfortableness.
Since the divorce, I've dated fairly frequently and have not been able to figure out why that same feeling has eluded me. I think I told someone the other day that I want to miss him as soon as I leave him, want to talk to him again as soon as we hang up and get that little thrill when I think about him. No one was making me feel like that until lately. I had been dating a really nice guy that's a police officer and was feeling pretty strongly about him but my defense mechanisms kicked in and I cut off contact and thought I'd moved on. He waited two weeks and sent me a simple text message and as soon as I called him back I realized how much I had missed him. When we met up later and I saw him, I was amazed the number and level of emotions I felt. I feel about him like I did the ex when we met. I can't seem to get enough of him and as soon as we started our relationship up again I quit dating the other guys I had been going out with. They held no interest for me anymore. So, this is how the question was answered for me.
You will never know someone 100% -- I thought after 15 years I knew everything about my ex and his personality but I was wrong. Sometimes you just go with your heart and what feels right.
Christy
Re:Lust + Time = Love ??? Bubba: Wrong equation
It should read:
Woman + Bubba = Lusty Love.
Re:Lust + Time = Love ??? Daniel: People develop that "love" bond after experiencing and working through things together. The first primal reaction to meeting someone you like is probably lust and infatuation. Add time to the equation and there's the potential for love. But when you're in a new relationship, when do you know to call it off, or to work on it and see if it develops into something more.
-Daniel
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