My STBX's GF had a pregnancy scare. He told me AS SHE WAS PEEING ON THE STICK. tara: First: It came out negative. Thank god.
And I'm not going to moralize about having sex with someone else before the divorce is final, because, well, I am too. (Our state is 100% no-fault.) She's not an Other Woman; she's a post-separation GF, so I harbor no grudge at her personally.
But WHERE DOES HE GET OFF thinking I am his support structure for that sort of thing? He *knows* that this is a sensitive issue for me, because the biggest thing that broke us up was his unwillingness to have kids.
I'm sitting here shaking over a non-existant pregnancy that, in 11 days, will be absolutely none of my business. (It's only my business now in that we're still married and thus still have certain financial ties to one another.)
I'm pretty sure, if I thought I was pregnant, I'd make darn sure that I actually and beyond a doubt was pregnant before I'd tell anyone other than the baby's father and my doctor.
Grrrr. I'm still shaking a bit.
Re:My STBX's GF had a pregnancy scare. He told me AS SHE WAS PEEING ON THE STIC Amira: Someone can only take advantage of you to the length that you let them. Don't think I'm lecturing you--I'm not really good at setting boundaries either.
Next time he calls you with something, anything, like that try as hard as you can to say "I'm sorry, but this isn't a subject I want to get involved in with you. You'll have to find another means of emotional support. Have a nice day" Then hang up the phone.
I would absolutely just vomit if my STBX called me up and said something like that. We have everything to have a baby and no baby. He left just after we started having s*x with no protection, so I would be livid.
I am really sorry.
Re:My STBX's GF had a pregnancy scare. He told me AS SHE WAS PEEING ON THE STIC tupsie: >:( :oOh my god I would totally freak out !! that is something that keeps going through my head. WE have a son Idont want him to share that with anyone else. At least she came after mine was doing stuff before . eiter way dont understan why he would let you in on this. he must care more about what you think than anythig else. Why would she (the other woman want you to know eiter?).
Re:My STBX's GF had a pregnancy scare. He told me AS SHE WAS PEEING ON THE STIC amola: sheesh.........
i think that i would have had the burning desire to reach through the phone and rip various body parts off of him (starting with one in particular).....it just doesn't make sense to me why he would call you with that information....
???
but then again, how many of their actions do we really understand?
:)
amola
Re:My STBX's GF had a pregnancy scare. He told me AS SHE WAS PEEING ON THE STIC tara: [quote author=Amira link=board=20;threadid=8045;start=0#msg64034 date=1108786083">
Next time he calls you with something, anything, like that try as hard as you can to say "I'm sorry, but this isn't a subject I want to get involved in with you. You'll have to find another means of emotional support. Have a nice day" Then hang up the phone.
[/quote">
Thanks -- actually, he just sent a text message so I couldn't really hang up. By the time I processed a "why the F are you telling me this?" reply, he'd messaged again with "negative." So I did not indulge him in his desire for support -- I guess I didn't make that clear in the original post (being shaky and angry does that to me...)
We then had a back-and-forth about boundaries, and about how the pact we made to let each other know directly about big life changes (because we have too many mutual friends and it sucks worse to hear from a third party that your ex is getting married, having a baby or that there was a death in the family) does not include pregnancy scares. If she'd actually gotten pregnant, and they were planning on bringing the pregnancy to term, then, yes, tell me, because I'd rather find out from them than from a friend. But, otherwise, it's none of my business (and tupsie, you're right -- I suspect the GF would be embarassed at best, possibly offended, if she knew he was sharing this info with me. )
I think he just turned to me because he's still not out of the habit -- we are amicable (there was no betrayal, adultery, abuse -- we were just going in different directions), so it's not like personal conversation is utterly out of the question, but this went over the line.
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