Re:Feeling lost sirhc96: On thing I have learned is that although the marridge just died for you, it most likely died for her a long time ago and she just didnt know how to tell you. My ex-wife did the same thing to me. I noticed a change in her months before she told me it was over. I think they love you enough that they dont want to hurt you, but dont know how to tell you. So when they do tell you, it has been over for them a long time, while it is completly new to you even if the signs have been there for a while.
Chris
Re:Feeling lost LostTeacher: it think for that almost 90% of people (my guess at a percentage :P) the one that leaves has really been thinking about it for a while. i never would have thought that my stbxh would have done this to us, but he did, and man, was he prepared. he worked for some lawyers, which made some of his stuff easier, but he went to our bank, closed accounts, had paper work started asap. it was devestating. here was the person that i have loved for the majority of my life, wanting me to move out, not speaking to me, and cutting me off from a huge part of our life.
my advice.... take care of yourself. you will hear this a dozen times, but it really is the best advice. how can you heal if you don't take the time, it won't happen. you have to start finding the things that you want to do. go out with others, go to movies, find new or old hobbies.
and allow yourself to grieve. like others have said, odds are they have grieved already, or are hiding their greiving. you have to allow yourself time to feel bad, sad, angry, depressed. it's the only way to start to move on. and use this and other support systems to get you through. don't bottle it up, it will only make you feel worse inside.
Re:Feeling lost Dom: :)
It has been about a month now since my wife told me the big news. I was so sad and depressed. My mother kept stressing that once god closes one door he opens another. Things are not to bad. She is still living in the house but was approved for a morgage onthe house we where having built. I have to get approved for a morgage on our current house and then she is out. She has said we are only married on paper and I know that to be true. Sometimes I still get angry when I think about it but she is a cold person. I think I was in love with idea of being married rather that the person I was married too.
about a week ago I took a chance and sent a email to a person I have been friends with for about 7 years telling them I always liked them.. Turned out feelings where the same. I always said that she was the perfect woman. That she would make the perfect wife. I always new that to be true. I could see myself growing old with this person and being happy. I never did with the STBX. I really like this person and see a future in it. I told her that we needed 6 months.. Baby steps.. Need to do this one right. It seems at times we are on fast forward because we have know each other for so long.
