compete or not compete...that is the question. BigRunner493: how do you get over the urge to try and compete with ex's bf? i see my kids a lot compared to most non-custodial fathers, and i do my best to make that time special, but how do i handle knowing that my ex's boyfriend is spending time with them do the things that my girls and i do together?
thanks,
br
Re:compete or not compete...that is the question. paul76: I honestly think that competition and your children do not go well together. Then you start focusing on the wrong things and not your children.
Just do things that your girls like to do, and things you like to do with them....dont worry about what the bf is doing.....You can never replace a GOOD FATHER!
Re:compete or not compete...that is the question. Shanna: You are so lucky that her new bf is wanting to be a good role model and participant in their lives.
Competing is bad....my xBIL (sister's exhusband) competed and spoiled my nephew REALLY bad when he was with him and made it miserable when he was with his mom who couldn't afford to buy him everything or spend everyminute with him.
He loves both parents and he cares about my sister's boyfriend, too.....but he is not his DADDY. Daddy is way cooler (without trying) than any BF could EVER be.
Otherwise....don't worry just keep being a good dad. Your girls will respect that.
HUGS
Shanna
Re:compete or not compete...that is the question. ChristyM: I say "ditto what Sully said". I may end up meeting and eventually marrying a man that will be a wonderful stepfather to my daughter. But my ex will always be her "dad". And remember, most kids can see through bullsh*t anyway.
Christy
Re:compete or not compete...that is the question. Jennicole: oh man, i just had my own little problem like this. for the most part, my ex and my husband get along, and i get along with my ex's gf. we all made the decision a long time ago, that it wasnt about us, it was about our son. but i made cupcakes for my son to take to the sitter for valentines day. i told my ex, and he laughed and said his gf was doing the same thing. without really thinking about it, i got upset. wait a minute, thats a mommy thing and im mommy! i told him that it was my week, and she should have asked first, i would ask on their week! anyway, its the first time anything ever rubbed me the wrong way, and im not really sure why it did. i felt bad about it, because i know that i am thankful that she cares about him. my ex is great though, he never took the cupcakes by the sitter, and never told his gf. so i didnt have to feel like an a$$ later. anyway, i agree with sully. it could be a lot worse, the other person could be some jacka$$ that hates kids and treats them like poop. but i think it a little understandable to every once in a while feel like 'hey wait, im supposed to do those things'
