Letting go tupsie: :(I'm having a really hard time just letting go which is I guess I have to do at this point. People have told me "you know its over you have to move on"but I just cant I feel stuck. MY therapist doesnt say to let go she says he sounds confused. Sometimes I think if I just back off dont see him(although I have to because of our son)dont talk to him that some how he is going to wake up and see what he is losing.Then I think thatwill never happen because someone else is there for him . He says this person he is talking to or what ever has nothing to do with anything but i cant help thinking if she didnt exist he would be able to focus better on what is really happening.I wish I could just give up . I think what really drives me crazy is that he wouldnt even try counsiling not even once. I think then I would feel some sense of finality or something like "OK we tried and it didnt work now lets move on"Cant stand being in limbo like this!!!!!!!!!
Re:Letting go BigRunner493: tupsie,
what helps me is just living my life now, one day at a time. enjoy every moment, some with be better than others, but they all teach us something. try to find the positive, even if it is small, use it. write down all the positives that happen to you and read them every time you feel down.
don't focus on the future. i'm a firm believer in that there is a plan for everyone and you sit there and wait for it to happen you are going to miss all the other things life has to offer. if it was meant to be between you and your ex, then it will be there, but instead of waiting, live your life and who knows, you may stumble onto something you never expected.
no one says you have to let go, some of us never do, just don't let it guide you day after day.
just remember, you are not the first to go through this and won't be the last and there are so many people out there in the world that are starving, with no family, no friends, and sometimes we need to be thankful for what we have instead of what we don't.
tc,
br
Re:Letting go Dino: its hard to let go. i dont know if i have truly let go. i still have feelings for my ex. i dont think letting go is the same as accepting an end. i have accepted that my relationship is over and accepted the fact she won't be a part of my life. but i cant let go of the feelings i have. it just doesnt happen that easily, or that quickly.
i agree with bigrunner about not waiting for life to move you. you have to keep things moving yourself.
Letting go ChristyM: I'm not sure at what point a person truly "lets go" or if they even know when it happens.
I have been separated since 10/03 and divorced since 4/04 and I can't say I have completely let go. I just got an e-mail on Friday from my ex (he's the one that left to be with someone else) and he talked about missing me and missing the life we used to have. Apparently he hasn't let go either. How can you just "let go" of something that in my case, took 15 years to build? It's a tough thing.
Christy
Re:Letting go caligirl: i hear you Christy-
Just curious how you responded to your ex? And would you consider a reconcilliation at this point?
i've been seperated since August '04 and in the latter processes of my divorce...
Cali-
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