Wasted 9 Years? gingermommy: I'm just so mad I don't know where to start. I don't understand how some people can be so selfish and literally have no conscience. My husband left me about 2 weeks after the birth of our 2nd child and 1 week after our 6th anniversary. I knew our relationship was far from perfect but I never imagined things would end up the way they did. I always knew that my husband would never amount to anything in life but I loved him and stood by him no matter what. I knew he was a liar and a con - always looking for the easy way in life - but I never thought in a million years he would screw me over. Love is truly blind. When he moved out he left me thinking he would return after "sorting out" his problems. Instead he rekindled a relationship with his h.s. g-friend and lied to me repeatedly about the whole thing. Today I found out he bought this girl an engagement ring - our divorce has been final less than 1 month. My biggest frustration is that I have to let my daughter who is 4.5 go visit him and his girlfriend is around. Let's just say she has a reputation. I do not agree with her lifestyle - she has 4 children by 3 different men and parades boyfriends in and out of their lives like it is no big deal. I do not want my daughter thinking that her behavior or that of my ex is acceptable. She constantly pawns her children off on other people but makes a point of spending time with my daughter when my ex has her. I find myself praying for the day my ex will find it too much of an inconvenience to spend time with our children or for the day he screws up so bad I can take him to court and he will lose any and all custody or visitation rights. It is so frustrating!! I just really need to vent to someone who is maybe dealing with a similar situation.
Re:Wasted 9 Years? RecoveringinDE: I am so sorry that you are going through this =\ I can't imagine what you are going through. My ex is an active part of my daughters life, as is his gf. I don't like having her there, but nothing I can do about it but deal.
The only thing that I can suggest to you is to keep yourself straight and give your children the best life that you can. And do not accept less than that from your ex. His children should come first, not his gf.
((Hugs)) and good luck hun!
RiDE
Re:Wasted 9 Years? sirhc96: The only thing that I can comment on is that you obviously did not waste 9 years off your life or else you would not have two beautiful children. If you see the time as a waste, well all of us are here because of the wasted years we spent with someone as well. Once its all said and done you will see that it was not a waste but that it made a stronger person and would not of learned what you have if this would not of happened. Sorry I cant give you more insight to your actual problems, but dont feel as though things were a waste. I know that I felt that way at first, but now that I look back I wouldnt be the person I am now if the things hadnt happened. Good luck.
Chris
Re:Wasted 9 Years? LostTeacher: i don't believe that you wasted time either. i know that i felt this way at first, because i have been with him for so long, and have lost a lot of my 20's, but i now don't think they were wasted. i really did love him, and i truly belive that at some point, he loved me. i think you are very strong to be doing this with children. i can say that i am blessed that i did not have this problem to worry about, even though i had tried everything to get him to have kids with me. now i am thankful that he was stubborn, and i feel very proud of those of you who can hold yourself together for the sake of your children.
Re:Wasted 9 Years? gingermommy: Thanks for the support. It is just difficult because my husband did not have an active role in parenting when he lived with us - I have always felt like a single parent. He never changed diapers, gave baths, read stories, got up for midnight feedings, nothing! And now, he is playing the part of super dad. He does not have an active role at all with our 5 mo. old son. He lives with his mother so I know that she is the primary care giver to my son when he does go for visitation. Everytime my ex brings my son home he complains that all he does is cry - a problem I don't have. His g.f. has told people that she is going to sign over rights to her children so that she can be with her new family. I know for a fact that if my ex didn't have her telling him what to do he would not see his children at all. This girl is cruel and manipulative. I have a ton of text messages from her telling me that my husband wished I would have aborted my son and that he never wanted to marry me in the first place (the feeling is mutual now, obviously - about the marriage, I mean). She has forwarded text messages to me that he sent to her saying that he has loved her since the first day he met her (they went to elementary school together - give me a break). She sent me a text once that the wallpaper on her and my ex's phones is a picture of her and my son. She prank calls me and duplicates messages to my phone that she sends to my ex. She is so juvenile I can hardly stand it. My ex and I can tolerate each other with civility for the most part but if his g.f. is around he is absolutely rude and mean to me. I just hate that all of this sucks my energy and stresses me out. I try to be positive for my daughter but sometimes it seems almost impossible.
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