BEING ASKED TO GO SOMEWHERE JBH1970: My brothers step daughter turns twenty one today. He has asked me to go out to dinner with several of her friends, him and his wife. I want to go but when he asked me it made me cry. Does anyone experience this when asked to do something? I really do think I should go, but it really confuses me why I feel like crying about it. Maybe I feel abnormal when I see others having a good time and I feel like I do now. It just makes me feel so insecure to not be able to sem to have a good time while everyone else does. I also want my brother to see me happy again. He loves me very much and I do not know what I would do without him. I would do anything for him. Does any of this make sense to anyone out there? I am going to go because I think I should. What do you think? Am I crazy or what?
Re: BEING ASKED TO GO SOMEWHERE newman4ever: I think you absolutely should go. It's important to try and rediscover the joys in the life that come from being single and unemcumbered. Plus the added benefit of having family with you who deeply care about you. And consider this...
You just might enjoy yourself. Take these opportunities to get out there, do stuff and try to enjoy yourself. You can do it. Just remember...baby steps. Pretty soon you'll be out enjoying life again without it taking any effort at all.
Now having said all that, your feelings are perfectly "natural" (There JimB...happy I didn't say normal ?) But try not to let those darn feelings get in the way of your good time. Just do it.
Good luck and live it up!!!!
Best Wishes
Newman
Re: BEING ASKED TO GO SOMEWHERE itwillgetbetter: I think your feelings are absolutely normal. I also think you should go even if you have to force yourself. You might surprise yourself and have a great time. Eventually, you will be able to go to social events without forcing yourself.
I agree with the baby steps. One thing I would do (and sometimes still do) is I would drive myself. That way if I felt anxiety or the urge to leave than I could without imposing on anyone else. So if folks starting hanging out at the restaurant after dinner, you can take off.
Go! Enjoy yourself! And if nothing else, 'Fake it until you can make it!'
Let us know how it goes.
Re: BEING ASKED TO GO SOMEWHERE stormy1021: Absolutely normal. My family and friends were constantly wanting me to go with them to "functions"- b-day parties, dinners, etc. And I would cry and say no I just can't be around them. Finally my bestfriend said that was it and that I was going to spend 4th of July at her and her husband's place for that weekend...I didn't want to but I did and you know it actually made me feel better. I look forward now being around my friends and family because it keeps me busy it just took me a little bit to want to go. Make yourself go one time and be open about it...if your comfortable you'll do it again if not then try again at a later time. Hope this helps a little.
Stormy
Re: BEING ASKED TO GO SOMEWHERE justmenow: I hear ya'! I'm always running here and there, but never willingly. It would be so much easier just to sit in my house and do nothing, but I don't. Many times I have to kick my own butt out the door (what a concept!!) and do things. There hasn't been one single time that I haven't been glad that I did. A lot of fun times could have been missed out on. Every time I go out I prove to myself that I *can* have fun without him. Plus, allow other people to help you out, ok? Sometimes it's not about you, let them feel good about doing a kindness for someone else.
Oh, and have *tons* of fun!! ;D
Click More for the next page.
