Re: New at this achingallover: Oh, I'm so bummed - I just had this perfect reply and then I realized when I went to post it I wasn't logged in and it's lost. :'(
So, what the heck did I just write.
I know, Jasper, it's a real mess. What's been happening is this friend who is living in my driveway has been talking to another friend behind my back to get me out of here ASAP. These friends are 2 people who have done the same thing when they had several year long relationships. When the guy said it was done, they left immediatley. SO, they think that's what I have to do. They have had this huge agenda for me and I have been in such shock that I've been going along with it - doing what they want. So, I had a moment of clarity last week, as I was supposed to sign a lease and I didn't. I didn't have any legal documentation saying how much alimony I'd be getting - it was totally on my stbX's word about what he was giving me in alimony. Well, I decided I wasnt' signing any lease until I had legal documentation saying what was going to be coming to me financially. So, the freind in the driveway told the other friend (who by the way I am going to her wedding in Jersey this week WITH my stbx) that I didn't sign the lease - she told her fiance and he told my stbx. Needless to say, he was pissed when he heard and threatened that if we dont' get things financially arranged this WEdnesday in mediation that he is going to get a lawyer and take me to court. Right now, the plan that he is proposeing is geared to give me enough alimony so I won't have to work the next few years of my school. So, if we go to court, I will, I'm sure, get the bare minimun. He knows he has financail leverage and he is using it against me. He doesn't care that I"m upset or in shock or anything - he just takes my emotionality as a sign of resistance and that I don't want the divorce - which I don't but I'm getting closer to wanting it too - he thinks I didn't signe the lease becuase I'm still holding out hope that we can work this out and he's done done done. So, I either play his game his way and suck it up in mediation on Wednesday and get through it or I go to court and end up with a deal that is far less than what he had originally proposed. All of this while, my driveway friend is planning to move into my house with my x. Fun, huh? She sees herself totally as a victim and financailly she is a mess - so she sees she has no other options. Victim. There's kinda nothing I can do about this sitaution with her, but I certainly won't consder her a friend if she moves in with him. I guess the two of them can live here in the house and be victims together.
Re: New at this JASPER: All right Aching,
You must have jinx me because belive it or not this is my second time posting this reply,the first time I wasn't logged on.You be very careful because it sounds as if someone is plotting on you.I dont like the sound of these so called friends your talking with giving you all this hurry up and move out so I can move in advice WTF! A true friend should say things like whatever you decide to do I'm here for you anything else be leary of.You be sure to talk to and attorney and make sure this @sshole is giving you all your entitled to.Make sure you concentrate on yourself be strong through this I know it is hard but you must not let them get the best of you.And you stop calling this person a friend because what a waste of a beautiful word.Try to find family or someone you feel you can trust to confide in because I just dont know about the friends you have now you just watch them carefully ok. I hope everything works out for you. Your story made me so mad because these are times when you really need friends and look what you got instead,a snake and a weasel! Well when all else fails we are here for you.Good luck and be strong!
Re: New at this justmenow: FYI , if you ever go to post and aren't logged on, you haven't lost everything, just hit the "BACK" button on your browser and it should all be there. Just copy what is in the text box (CTRL-C) or choose it from the menu and then paste it back in once you're logged in.
Re: New at this bendeceived2003: I am so in agreeance with Jasper!!!
I would rather have a rattlesnake as afriend than these people!! Obviously, we don't know your whole situation, but these people do not sound like friends.... and I can't help but wonder if the driveway woman and hubby are hooking up!!! He may be gay, he may be bi, I don't know.....
I know you don't need to hear this, but I can't help but wonder!!
Please, get a lawyer if at all possible. You need to fight for yourself!! It is unfortunate, but sometimes, within the span of a minute, we turn from lover to fighter!!!
Please, get some new friends.....
Ben
Re: New at this achingallover: Yeh, I know you guys. This woman in the driveway... I don't know man. I was really trying to help her out. I'm pretty much in disbelief that she is moving in with my stbx. I have seriously considered the idea that something is going on with them - but there is just no way. She is 100% convinced he is gay - and he is in his office working ALL the time. She is a mess and he is a mess - but in very different ways. He is a workaholic and she is a victim in her life. I know there is nothing going on between them...I'm just amazed at the audacity that this chic has. I have considered getting a lawyer - and the mediator actually thinks we shoudl have a lawyer look over our divorce agreement before we actually put it through. I told her (before the weekend explosion with him) that he was so hostile that I didn't want to do anyting "secretive" or he would take it as a further sign of resistance. She suggested we go see a lawyer together. I don't know what to do. He wants me to get this all wrapped up Wednesday and if I am happy with the deal he's presenting, I need to take it or he'll freak out and take me to court. There is no time to see a lawyer.
IT'S A MESS!
Click More for the next page.
